Depression-the path to recovery

                       

Depression-the path to recovery 

Jimmy Henderson (MA Psychology) FRC

‘As we awaken, shall we see more of the light that always is’

J. Henderson

The process of healing after depression can take many years. However, in my own experience, its shadow never seems to fully leave our presence.

However, I personally believe that it can be managed with effort, commitment and the successful completion of certain important tasks.  

The first of these tasks is be to make a most important decision, which is to accept responsibility for our own lives and actions, and be willing to consciously process this challenge that life has presented to us. This is not easy, and many agonising weeks and months can be spent mulling over this decision. However, eventually we may come to understand that human development requires that we remain open to learning experiences and not shut down our lives and thinking when things get tough.

Second, it is important to take stock, evaluate our situation, and develop new coping methods which will help us to better manage the challenges and negative emotions that usually accompany depression. During this period we should make the time for emotional healing, as well as conscious attempts to extricate ourselves from the bonds of self-doubt, fear and negative thoughts associated with the events and situations that have led to depression. We can do this either with the help of professional therapists, or by means of self-help healing techniques. 

One of the most effective methods is simply to set new boundaries and learn to say ‘No’ when it comes to demands on our time and energy. Often depression results from 'burnout' as a result of not having these boundaries in our lives. 

A more radical approach involve simply eliminating the stressful situation(s) from our lives altogether, but this may necessitate a change in household circumstances, career or lifestyle. In my own case, I found it necessary to remove myself from the work-setting entirely and embark on a completely new path. This was at a cost to my financial security, but was the course of action which offered the greatest opportunities for balance and peace of mind.

During this time of inner battle, we will still have days when the 'shadows' of depression will continue to challenge us, and may even become embodied in negative or self-destructive thoughts such as ‘I am not coping’, ‘I am a failure’ or ‘no one really cares for me’. However, it is possible to confront these thoughts with positive self-affirmations and take back our power. For example, by continually repeating to ourselves, ‘I am not a failure, I have a wonderful family and am a good father /mother’; or, ‘It is not true that I cannot cope, I have accomplished many things in my life’; or, ‘It is not true that no-one cares for me, I have the support of my family and many good friends’, the negativity can be dispelled. 

Whatever method we use, our desired outcome is that moment of divine forgiveness or ‘self-forgiveness’, that thought and action which initiates a break with the past and ushers in a new beginning.  

During these difficult times we could also be burdened with powerful, unpleasant emotions such as anger or rage, or even negative feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A useful way of dealing with these is to examine their costs to our present peace of mind, health, careers and relationships, and to make a conscious decision to release them. 

It may sound strange to talk of a ‘payback’ by our holding onto such self-destructive emotions, However, if the matter is examined carefully, the power they have brought to our situation will become clearer, and it is this power that sustains them. For example, anger often provides us with the energy to get through these difficult situations, to re-assert ourselves, and to try to reclaim our power. However, this anger and resentment can, over time, enter our personalities and change them for the worse, turning us into unpleasant and resentful people who may cause unnecessarily hurt to others. In addition to this, repressed feelings of intense anger and resentment can actually negatively affect our health.

Likewise, withdrawing into ourselves as the result of intense feelings of hopelessness and despair, can provide us with the time and space to heal, allow us to avoid constantly having the face the issue, and, for a while at least, may rally people to support us. However, once again, the insidious long-term effects of this response is that we will eventually push people away, cripple our relationships, social lives and possibilities for career advancement, and we may have difficulty in ever finding enjoyment and happiness again.

In other words, we always have to weigh the hidden ‘costs’ against the ‘payback’ received by holding onto these emotions, until we can eventually arrive at a decision that the benefits are simply not worth the price that we are paying, and make a conscious decision to release them. This will place us on the path to recovery. 

In order to empower ourselves and return mastery and control to our lives, there are also a number of other methods we can apply. For instance, prayer and meditation have been proven to assist in restoring balance and control to a troubled mind. Meditational exercises are contained in one of my other publications, ‘Multi-Dimensional thinking’ (2007).

Another useful practice is to strive to keep our minds relatively clear and at peace at all times by consciously ‘choosing’ our thoughts and feelings. In other words, allowing unwanted thoughts and emotions to pass through our minds by simply refusing to ‘dwell’ on them. 

The daily use of positive affirmations will be useful in this case: 

For example:

‘I choose to release these unpleasant thoughts and emotions’.

‘I am simply not prepared to fill my mind with these thoughts or emotions’.

‘I simply do not wish to upset myself with this feeling or issue’

‘I cannot be bothered with this matter at the moment’.

‘I need to focus all my attention on my immediate concerns’.

The idea is to try to cultivate a sort of philosophical ‘detachment’ from stressful matters which do not really concern us, and only those thoughts and feelings that are of immediate importance, should receive our focus and attention. This may sound cold and unfeeling, but we are still free to express altruistic emotions such as love and compassion.

  

Another empowerment strategy would involve rebuilding our shattered self-image and self-esteem. A major life-changing experience such as death of a partner or child, the end of a career, a divorce or some other traumatic event can easily lead us into depression. This path is often lonely, and our recovery and return to mastery will require an inner strength based on a new knowledge of ‘who’ and ‘what ‘we really are, and our true purpose in this life, in order to overcome the many challenges that may arise. 

This recovery should include a period of ‘time-out’ for reading, relaxing, self-introspection and a consideration of the important issues just mentioned. The idea is to find the space and time to rebuild our shattered sense of self-confidence and re-new that belief in ourselves which will enable us to transcend this experience.

Simple changes in our behaviour can also assist with recovery. For example, it is important to stay active by getting involved with a new hobby or social groups. Creative and rewarding activities such as art, writing and volunteer work will also prove beneficial to our state of mind and can provide us with a new sense of purpose.

At the same time we should shift our focus from our problems to our physical and emotional wellness, as our health can be severely affected by stress and depression. Addressing this may require changes to our eating habits, exercise routines and lifestyles. However, a good balanced diet and exercise helps to reduce stress and will certainly make us feel better.

Finally, it will be important to make some new decisions and set realistic goals for our futures using our new hard-won wisdom and perspective on life. This would be the time to finally release the blockages in our minds and reconnect with our higher or authentic selves through meditation or prayer. This is the final ‘letting go’ of the entanglements which are blocking the light of the Soul. This reintegration of the inner and outer self brings with it an increased awareness and understanding of the real process of life, its challenges as well as its opportunities, and results in a greater capacity for independent thinking, insight, compassion, tolerance and unconditional love.

 Adapted from the e-book 'Living on the Edge of Darkness'  by Jimmy Henderson 

Jimmy is a cognitive researcher and metaphysician who is the published author of a number of books on the power of the mind. His books are available through his website www.jimmyhendersonbooks.com