Sunday, November 28, 2010

Childhood trauma

Childhood trauma
By Jimmy Henderson

Trauma has specific components which identify it as such. For instance, it involves extremely powerful emotions such as fear, helplessness or horror, resulting from experiencing, seeing or just being confronted by an event which involves death or serious injury to oneself, loved ones or even friends. An example of this would be the effect on victims and families of the World Trade Centre destruction in 2001.
However, trauma can also result from being the victim of violent crime or serious abuse. Such an event sets off a roller-coaster of emotional, psychological and physical reactions which can take years to settle and from which some people may never fully recover. It can take place at any time in one’s life, including childhood, and its impact will depend on the degree of violence involved, the severity of the event and the coping mechanisms of the person involved.
For example, childhood trauma could result from the child being caught up in a natural disaster such as an earthquake, a serious accident in which family members are killed, being the victim of, or simply witnessing violent crime directed at his or her parents. It could also be the result of serious violence directed at the child by a parent (or parents), but as I said, it is usually associated with a specific event (or events) with far-reaching consequences such as rape. Other less violent forms of sexual or emotional abuse are more likely to result in other disorders.

As I said, trauma results in a chain–reaction of symptoms which unfold over a period of weeks and months. In the case of children, who have not yet developed complex coping mechanisms, the most likely symptoms would be emotional numbness and withdrawal (or frequent agitation, outbursts and crying) an inability to perform tasks (schoolwork), not eating and sleeping properly (nightmares) and physical ailments such as running stomach, cramps and other illnesses. If they are old enough to verbalise their emotions, they may talk about feeling very scared and helpless.

Trauma is a serious situation and requires immediate counselling by a qualified therapist. This is not something that can be dealt with by the parents or school. If it is not handled quickly and effectively, it can become what is known as post-traumatic stress disorder which can be a debilitating situation for both children and adults. The effects of trauma can persist through adolescence and adulthood resulting in persistent fears and images of the event, frightening dreams and memories, hallucinations and imaginings, an inability to concentrate and can even affect one’s personality (increased irritability, anger and withdrawing socially and emotionally).

Trauma can be treated by therapy directed at returning the persons sense of mastery and control and this normally involves changing their thoughts about the event. To answer the question of whether we are victims of our childhood trauma, much depends on the support and treatment received during and after the event. Trauma is one of the most difficult issues to deal with and unless the child receives the correct support and treatment immediately, is empowered to process the event (s) more successfully and develop better coping skills, these symptoms, in the case of PTSD, can go on to severely affect one’s adult family, social and working life.

Few partners would be able to put up with the outbursts and unpredictability of a person suffering from this disorder and it certainly will affect one’s parenting skills as well, due to the effects on one’s personality (withdrawal, anger and irrtitability). The preoccupation with the images and pain of the past (and the subsequent inability to concentrate effectively) could also affect one’s choice of career and ability to work.

Sources consulted : Barlow, D.H.& Durand, V.M. (2002). Abnormal psychology: An integrated approach. (3rd ed.). Belmont : Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.
Friedman, Merle. (Dr.) (2004). Trauma Counsellors Training Course.

Jimmy Henderson is a trained trauma counsellor (busy with master’s degree in psychology). He is also the author of a number of self-help books and articles –see www.jimmyhendersonbooks.com

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The four essential relationships to unfolding consciousness

The four essential relationships in
unfolding consciousness
The importance of consciousness
Consciousness involves far more than just being ‘self-aware’. It involves a state of mind and being that affects all our thoughts, decisions, actions and achievements. Once one becomes conscious of something, it begins to manifest in our lives, and as we unfold higher levels of consciousness, our whole experience of life and reality will change.
Within the depths of our consciousness, we house our memories (past experiences), cultural, religious or spiritual beliefs, conditioned responses (mental programmes) and even the paradigm with which we make sense of our world. These all become filters for our experiences, understanding and even our perception of reality. By raising and improving the quality (clarity) of our consciousness, we move closer to our true spiritual selves and a real experience of God.
Our consciousness should grow naturally as we mature and learn the lessons that life has to offer. However, the process can be speeded up with more conscious living and a daily commitment to self-development which usually occurs with religious, spiritual or metaphysical practices. In this regard, I have identified four relationships that are essential to fully unfold our consciousness.
Our relationship with ourselves
The process of unfoldment can either be hastened or else held back by our attitudes, state of mind, actions and efforts(or lack thereof), to improve ourselves.
Health, exercise and diet
Our consciousness can be lowered by sickness and ill-health. Energy-work especially requires a certain level of fitness. It is therefore important to look after our bodies as well as our minds. In this regard, a healthy diet and regular exercise is important. Our bodies can also build up toxins due to stress and bad eating habits and we need to detoxify at regular intervals with over-the-counter detoxifying agents or using qualified de-tox therapists. All this will make our bodies lighter, stronger and more receptive to a higher consciousness.
Stress, lifestyle and distractions
One simply cannot expect to discover new heights of consciousness whilst maintaining a stressful lifestyle or enjoying a life of excess or all-night partying. Stress and distractions both serve to lower or entrap our consciousness and balancing our work and private lives will afford us the time and space for self-introspection, which is absolutely necessary for unfolding our consciousness. This does not mean that we have to resign our jobs or isolate ourselves completely from the world, but rather, consciously learn to simplify our lives, manage our time better and change our priorities. In dealing with stress we should learn to relax using meditation and cultivate an inner stillness, balance and sense of detachment. In other words, shift our focus from outer to inner consciousness.
Our attitudes and actions
Our attitudes and actions are also important. Loving and selfless thoughts and deeds raise consciousness, but those of a selfish, aggressive, negative or judgmental nature, only serve to lower it.
Our minds
Emotional wellness
Our consciousness has to slowly wind its way through all the entanglements in our minds and in order to unfold it correctly, we need to remove all emotional and psychological debris and achieve at least a measure of emotional wellness. This can be explained as being able to cope with the emotional ups and downs of daily life and usually means that we have dealt with most of our painful or unhelpful emotions from the past, such as anger, fear and resentment.
Our bodies have a natural ability to heal themselves and under the right conditions, our minds and spirits will also heal and begin to unfold naturally. This usually involves processing in the form of releasing guilt, doubts and fears from our past through forgiveness or self-forgiveness and re-building our self-esteem. However, in some cases we may require the help and assistance of counselors and therapists.
Our everyday thinking and beliefs
Our present beliefs and perceptions about the world and reality set the limits as to what we can experience. For instance, people who do not believe in other forms of life and consciousness such as spiritual beings would probably not even know if they were approached by one. They would simply not be able to make sense of the experience in terms of their existing beliefs. One’s mind has to be open and receptive to the truth of a certain experience before it can be processed.
An open mind is essential
Many people are not open to new ideas and will rather remain with their present attitudes towards the world and their framework of beliefs collected over the years. The problem is, if we ever wish to invite the deeper experiences associated with an unfolding consciousness into our lives, we will need to open our minds to new ideas about consciousness. This usually requires only a small shift to a more universal paradigm of thought which includes all the possibilities for spiritual development and consciousness unfoldment.
Clarity
As I said before, our consciousness has to weave its way through the content of our minds and it is important to keep it clear and free of negative thoughts, drama and intrigue which only pollute our state of mind and block the light. We should consciously choose to release all judgments about other people as well as thoughts or feelings that are unhelpful or self-defeating.
Our view of self
Finally, if we continue to see ourselves only as imperfect physical beings and prisoners of our past, we will limit ourselves and never truly unfold our consciousness. Our innermost beliefs act as mental rules or instructions to our subconscious minds and control our thinking and actions, setting us up for success or failure. In this regard, we will have to create the correct psychological space and conditions for unfoldment by seeing ourselves as not just as a body, but rather as multi-dimensional beings with an almost limitless potential. It will be necessary to replace our old self-image with powerful new thoughts or affirmations which are far more expansive and redefine our self-imposed limits. For example, ‘What I see in the mirror is not the real me’, ‘I am far more than this’, ‘I am a being of light’ or ‘My source is in God ’.

Our relationship with our subconscious or unconscious mind
One of our closest and most powerful allies in the process of unfolding our consciousness is our own subconscious or unconscious mind. Our subconscious mind has its own programme and functions as a sort of ‘automatic pilot’ to regulate our bodily functions such as breathing and heartbeat, as well as some of our important mental activities. It is also able to communicate with us using sensations, impressions, spontaneous thoughts and ideas (intuition) and symbolic images during dreams, imagery (visualization) or visions.
What is most important is that it also serves as the inner guardian and protector of our consciousness, filtering incoming information and regulating our inner experiences in accordance with our abilities and readiness. Think of it in terms of the legend of the Sphinx which guarded the entrance to the Greek city of Thebes. Visitors to the city had to demonstrate commitment, courage and insight in order to be admitted. In this way, under the right conditions, our subconscious can open us to the higher realms of Spirit.

The metaphor of the lover
As it embodies a certain separation of consciousness and is certainly able to communicate with us, it becomes useful to treat our subconscious in the same way as we would a distinct person or personality. In fact, we can see this whole process of building an intimate relationship of trust and cooperation with it metaphorically, as similar to taking a new lover.
Affirmations
To begin, we have to learn to communicate our intentions and desire for an intimate relationship with sincerity, sweet words and considerate actions, wooing our lover (subconscious mind) with great respect, as he/she is the inner guardian of ours hearts (consciousness) as well as its protector. One means of communication is through affirmations, which would be equivalent to an introduction, from which ‘he’ or ‘she’ will gauge our confidence and sincerity. Metaphorically speaking, we would not make much of a first impression to our lover if we came across as indecisive and lacking in confidence and self-worth. For this reason our affirmations should be directed at reaching out and acknowledging our higher self. For example, ‘I am one with the Father’, ‘I am a beloved son/daughter of the Father’ or ‘My name is …... and I am a son/daughter of the Most High’.

Meditation and visualization
We should strive to continue this dialogue with our ‘lover’ during periods of meditation which we combine with imagery. If we are successful in our introduction, we should soon gain the co-operation of our lover and begin to experience corresponding changes to our consciousness during these times of contact. This should be experienced as our imagery shifting and changing spontaneously, as well as sudden unexpected breaths or powerful emotions that come to the surface when using affirmations. This indicates that a shift is taking place and that our lover is allowing us moments of access to a higher level of consciousness.

Intentions
However, our lover will only accept our advances (open the doors to higher consciousness) once we have clearly and adequately communicated our intentions and demonstrated that we are trustworthy, willing and able to assume the responsibility for this new relationship (the experiences and changes that will take place with an unfolding consciousness).
Another method of communicating this readiness is through the use of intentions. An intention is similar to an affirmation, but more powerful. It is ‘set’ by formulating a single, simple and precise self-instruction or thought, absolutely without any doubt or hesitation, as to exactly what we desire or wish to achieve.
This could be metaphorically represented as an open and honest communication with our ‘lover’ in the form of a request for help with a particular lesson or area of development. Unlike an affirmation, which is usually repeated over and over, an intention is stated only once. And it is this single act of pure intent and absolute conviction that sets it apart from an affirmation and which assures our subconscious mind that we are ready and prepared for the experience.
For example, ‘I am aware of all that is around me’, ‘I open my mind to a higher consciousness’ ‘I now connect with my subconscious mind’.
It is most effective when combined with meditation or imagery and can result in an immediate shift in consciousness. However, this depends totally on the relationship of trust and cooperation with our lover (subconscious), which provides the power and impetus for the shift. These powerful inner experiences are very important to unfold our consciousness.

Dreams
Other forms of ongoing communication and exchange between ourselves and our subconscious lover could include dream interpretation and lucid dreaming, during which we learn the ‘language’ of our subconscious.
Finally, if we are successful, after a period of courtship, he/she will open the doors to his or her innermost chamber, at which time we should embrace and shower him/her with appreciation.
Spontaneous imagery
As I said before, we know when this close working relationship with our ‘lover’ has been established when symbolic images spontaneously begin to present themselves to us during visualisation and the scenes unfold of their own accord. This marks the passage to what I call the threshold of inner or spiritual sight. This stage is very important, as it provides the inner visual field with which we will see into the higher realms of Spirit.

Our relationship with our higher Selves
If we wish to further unfold our consciousness, we will have to consider the idea that a higher reality exists and that we each have a higher spiritual self, or at least a spiritual side to ourselves. It is simply not possible to work with something we do not believe in. During the course of our lives we are sometimes graced with moments when we experience a quickening of consciousness or a purer awareness of self, usually those times when we are alone on a beach, a mountain or a hiking trail. However, unless we consciously seek them, these moments are easily lost once again in the stress and distractions of our everyday life. These moments indicate a momentary connection to our higher selves.
It often helps to see our higher self as a centre of pure consciousness fed by a multitude of impressions, sensations, thoughts and emotions. Once we strip our minds of these outer experiences, only a pure state of consciousness remains in which there is nothing except the simple realisation that we exist. This state of unfolded higher consciousness, without all the trimmings, is also called the ‘I’ or ‘soul’-consciousness. This is not our ego, but a higher level of our being which naturally finds expression when the pathway through our consciousness is clear, uncluttered and transcendent. Once again, this process of clearing requires the assistance of our subconscious mind.
Affirmations and intentions, meditations and imagery
By using a series of affirmations and intentions, as well as powerful meditations, we can bring about ‘moments’ or gaps in the fabric of our consciousness which allow us to introduce a single, powerful conscious thought directly into our subconscious mind, then metaphorically ‘reach through’ and touch our higher self. Once again, these moments will be marked by a sudden spontaneous deep breath which suggests that our lover has opened the channel to our higher self. During these few seconds our aim is to try to remember who and what we really are, what our true purpose is in this life and how we are still connected to our Divine Source. Conscious and spontaneous imagery can also be used to create scenarios leading to these gaps or lapses in normal consciousness when it is possible to access our higher selves. All these experiences will provide us with cues and insights into the true nature of reality and serve to unfold our consciousness even further.

Contemplation –a walking meditation
These moments of connection always seem to occur more frequently during those times that we are far removed from the stress of everyday life and in a more natural environment, such as during a walk in our garden, a mountain trail or other place of solitude. And for this reason we can often connect with our higher self during contemplation, or a walking meditation.This walk can be combined with powerful affirmations such as ‘Father, I see with your consciousness’, ‘Father, I think with the power of your mind’.

Our relationship with Spirit
The final relationship to be established is that with the higher realms of Spirit in the form of celestial beings of light who are willing and able to share of their energy, consciousness and wisdom provided we are aligned with the Divine Will. These associations with advanced spiritual beings are usually necessary to gain access to the highest planes of consciousness. In fact, we are all already constantly under the guidance and instruction of celestial light-beings, but this often goes unnoticed due to the many distractions in our everyday lives.
Under normal circumstances, we are not aware of these beings and their co-existence with us for the simple reason that they will not reveal themselves until one has cultivated a sufficiently responsive mind, strong enough to cope with the responsibilities of higher perception. This also explains why persons who do not believe in their existence are unlikely to ever see them. Revealing themselves to someone who is unprepared for the experience could do more harm than good, due to the fragility of our human minds and consciousness. This also explains why it is necessary to have first built up a strong relationship of trust with our lover (subconscious mind) so that the doors of the mind can be safely opened.
Types of spiritual beings
In the early stages of unfoldment we work mostly with saints or spirit guides, personalities who once walked this earth as we do, and some classes of guardian angels. However, later on we will also be able to approach Archangels, Thrones and Powers attached to the different levels of Being and existence. Lastly, we can call upon the spiritual masters within the Christ Consciousness, which is the highest level of consciousness available to us as human beings. Relationships with these spiritual beings will provide us with a continuous source of guidance and energy and help to fully unfold our consciousness.
Communication
For effective communication at this level, we will require to have mastered spontaneous imagery or inner sight. In other words, we should be able to see, hear or at least feel the presence of spiritual beings during our meditations and be able to interpret their messages. They are best viewed using peripheral vision and will seem to be part of a daydream or else projected images in a mist–filled room. Spiritual beings can assume any form in our minds, their images being assembled using our symbolic processes, paradigm of thinking and past experiences. Aspects of their particular personalities appear to us in a symbolic form, similar to that which we would see during dreams or imagery. Generally, powerful beings such as angels and Archangels appear larger and more luminous than spirit guides and have bands of light and energy entering their spinal area, giving rise to the idea of wings.
With practice we will eventually begin to sense and interpret the characteristics of their energy and be able to clearly differentiate between them, even those of a different order, such as devas, elementals or ‘shadow-beings’, in that they all have a different energy signature.
Rules of engagement
There are very definite rules of engagement when interacting with spiritual beings on any level. For example, all spiritual beings, from the lowest elemental to the highest Power, should always be treated with respect (never worship). All assistance, guidance or warnings should be immediately acknowledged and met with gratitude and thanks. We need to approach with a positive, confident yet humble state of mind. There is simply no place for ego, arrogance, doubts or fears when connecting to Spirit.
Spiritual guidance
Once we have established this relationship with Spirit, our intuition will operate at a much higher level and guidance and support will be immediate and direct in the form of messages, promptings and instructions taking place during dreams, visions, meditations and imagery.
During these times we may be visited by celestial messengers offering us gifts such as precious stones, necklaces, bowls of fruit, books, robes or sometimes even a scepter or sword. These will all be symbolic of different spiritual gifts such as abundance, knowledge, strength or protection and should be accepted with humility and gratitude.
Petitioning
We can also call upon Spirit at any time for help and assistance. This will always come from the level that is best suited to assist us, even if we call upon ‘God’ in a general sense. In other words, if we ask for protection, this will immediately come from the protective light-beings such as archangels, angels or spirit guides closest to us. However, should we pray for world peace, this universal petition will pass through to the highest levels of Divinity.
Initiations
To unfold our consciousness fully requires enormous amounts of psychic energy and our final steps along this path will therefore involve being willing to undergo whatever training and initiations are required. An initiation can be described as a symbolic process or ritual occurring during a meditation, lucid dream or vision which involves an invitation by spiritual beings to enter or shift into a new level of understanding or consciousness. Initiations differ in form and content, but share common characteristics or requirements. For instance, they all involve a situation where a choice, choices or a decision has to be consciously made (this distinguishes it from a normal dream or vision), as well as tests in which one has to face and overcome certain obstacles.
Channelling
Once our relationship with Spirit is firmly established, we could attempt channeling as a further means of unfolding our consciousness. Channelling refers to the ability to open our consciousness to spiritual beings such as spirit guides and angels for the purpose of receiving training and information. In all cases we will have to give permission for them to connect with us or else invite them into our consciousness. Once they enter, words of inspiration, guidance or teaching will involuntarily flow from our mouths and we, (or someone else, if in a group), will need to try and record this information.
During the more advanced forms of channeling, such as trance-work, the spirit can completely take over our minds, thoughts and consciousnesses for the purposes of addressing the others that are assembled, and we will generally not be aware of what is being said.
Conclusion
To conclude, I trust that this information relating to the four essential relationships will be of use to you in your own journey to unfold your consciousness.

Jimmy Henderson a well-known metaphysical teacher and regular radio talk show guest. He is the author of a number of articles as well as two books entitled ‘Multi-Dimensional Thinking’ and ‘Multi-Dimensional Perception’ which are available at most bookshops. He is also a facilitator with Metavarsity and based in KZ Natal.
www.jimmyhendersonbooks.com
http://www.kimaglobal.co.za/cgi-bin/go.pl/author_books.html?author_name=Jimmy%20Henderson