A collection of 7 important meditations
By Jimmy Henderson
Meditating to reduce stress
The following is a simple form of meditation to release stress which can be practiced at home or at the office. Sit quietly and comfortably, close your eyes and begin to breathe to a count of one to five. Focus on nothing else but the counting (either aloud or in your mind). Breathe in 1,2,3,4,5 hold your breath, 1,2,3,4, 5 breathe out 1,2,3,4,5 hold your breath 1,2,3,4,5 breathe in 1,2,3,4,5 and so on. Carry on with the counting and breathing until your mind is free of all thought, completely quiet and you feel totally relaxed. Try to meditate in this way for at least twenty seconds, a few times each day.
First-person imagery
When engaging in visualization, try to further develop your abilities by shifting your vision to the ‘first-person’. In other words, strive to no longer see yourself as a separate figure in the imagery, but place yourself in the body of the figure and begin to look through his or her eyes into the scene. You should begin to see only your hands and feet as you occupy the imaginary body, see and feel the grass beneath your feet or your hand touching a bush or tree as you walk in the visualized scene. It will take a while before your mind adjusts to the change, but if you keep practicing you will achieve this first-person perspective and radically increase your sensory experiences during visualization.
Spontaneous imagery
Enter into visualization and see yourself entering a beautiful garden. Try to use the first-person perspective if at all possible and see the grass, flowers and bushes through imagined ‘eyes’.
Move slowly through the garden scene. At this point you will still be actively generating each image and holding the whole scene together. Once you have succeeded in producing a three-dimensional scene together with feelings, scents and textures, begin to let go of your rigid control of the scene, allowing it to drift very lightly in your imagination.
Your subconscious should take over at this point and you will find that the scene seems to be taking on a life of its own. This enables you to peer around with a little more freedom. What you are looking for, are any forms, images or objects which you, yourself, did not introduce into the scene. You may now be amazed to find that the scene has become more fluid and images, emotions or impressions are spontaneously presenting themselves to you. These spontaneous feelings or images have only two possible sources. Either they are symbolic messages from your own subconscious mind or higher self, or are originating outside of your consciousness and may be a message from an angel or guide.
Once you begin to see strange impressions or images ‘popping up’ in your scene, note what is happening and slowly withdraw from your visualisation to reflect on their meaning. Later on you may even find that whole scenes begin to unfold spontaneously and everything becomes almost like a continuous dream, although you are still fully awake.
A meditation on your inner oracle (This requires a prior knowledge of spontaneous imagery)
This is an exercise in which you set an intention to access an ‘oracle’ of great wisdom, which should be a figure of an old man or woman and symbolises to you, God, wisdom or your higher self.
Begin by visualising yourself standing and facing a high hill or mountain, engage spontaneous imagery and slowly begin a climb to the top. This climb should take a few minutes of real-time. Note any obstacles such as boulders along your path. They all have a special meaning and will indicate issues that are holding you back on your spiritual path.
Once you we reach the top of the mountain (or hill), see an old figure sitting on a rock a short distance in front of you. This is your vision of the oracle. As I said previously, he or she should represent your highest concept of God, wisdom or your higher self.
Move slowly towards him (or her) with your head bowed and pose a question (or questions) simply and unambiguously. See and hear the oracle providing you with an answer(s) to your question(s). These answers will generally be short, but do not consider them at this time, merely give thanks, walk backwards away from the oracle and descend the mountain or hill.
Once you have returned to your starting point, consider what was said and write it down for further interpretation. You can use this visualisation over and over during the following weeks or even months to obtain any answers you seek.
A meditation on the higher self or soul
Begin with a meditation and the total relaxation of your mind and body and set your intention to experience a moment in which you will remember your higher or true self.
Lift your hands up, look at them and repeat the words, ‘I’m alive’ a few times. Turn your hands towards your chest and focus on the area between your hands and chest. Change the affirmation to the words ‘I am’, repeating them over and over again. Now change the words ‘I am’ to the word, ‘I’. Repeat the affirmation of ‘I’ a number of times, slowly and deliberately.
Continue until you are suddenly moved to take a quick, deep breath. This indicates a connection to your higher/ true self or soul. Remain in this state as long as you can, enjoying each moment. Open to the experience of a new sense of wonder and vitality. This is what you were meant to be, a being of light, not a body of pain and a mind filled with fear and suffering
Note your experiences and slowly end your meditation, become conscious of your body and return to normal awareness
Preparing your mind to access different realities
Find a quiet space and enter into meditation with a view to totally relaxing your mind (keep your eyes closed at this point)
Set an intention to shift your perception between a created reality and the real-life world. Enter into visualization and mentally create a scenario in which you which you visit a strange planet with zero gravity. You disembark from your ship to see a world where rocks are floating suspended in the air a meter or two above the ground.
The images you create should be clear, precise, three-dimensional and in full colour. Engage spontaneous imagery by letting go of active control of the scene. Note that some of the rocks are turning slowly, but always remaining at the same height and position relative to the others. See yourself walking amongst them and when you reach out and touch or push them, they respond by moving or spinning slightly, but once again, always returning to their original position
Relax into this visualization completely by letting your unconscious take over and enjoy the feeling of total peace and balance as the rocks continue to float and twirl slowly on all sides of you. After a while, slowly open your eyes. Notice that the images of the floating rocks are still visible, even in the room where you are sitting. Try to shift your attention back and forth between the reality of your room and your created world of floating rocks.
When you have succeeded in shifting your perception a number of times, withdraw slowly from the meditation and visualization and return to normal consciousness.
Meditation to work with energy
Begin by sitting comfortably and entering into a light meditation. Raise your right arm slightly and turn your right hand palm upwards at about shoulder height, curling your fingers in the same way as if a large grapefruit was resting in your hand.
Hold it like this until you feel the energy accumulating in your palm. Now set your intention to release any negative energies and concerns through this hand and engage spontaneous imagery. Focus your practiced intention lightly on the area about 20 cm above your upturned hand and see the energy radiating upwards and immediately transforming into images of birds flying out of your hand, as if they have been set free.
You will notice that initially that the birds may have broken wings, are dark in colour or take the form of aggressive birds such as crows, suggesting that the energy leaving your hand is not pure. Continue with your practiced Intention to release the negative energy and let it radiate from your hand in this way until you see the colour and form of the birds changing. They should become white in colour and change into more gentle and beautiful birds, such as doves.
Once this has occurred, it means that you have succeeded in releasing the negativity and are radiating energy that is more pure and loving. Give thanks and end your meditation.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Road rage
Dealing with road rage
By Jimmy Henderson BA Hons(phil), MA (Psychology), CHRP
In our modern and fast-paced world we are all experiencing heightened stress levels due to the pressures of having to juggle relationships, work and family matters, cope with financial and economic concerns, and in this country in particular, experiencing high levels of crime. Unfortunately, psychological research has shown that stress accumulates and can remain for long periods of time. Add to it the frustrations involved with peak-hour traffic and one can easily understand that many people are running close to empty when it comes to their coping resources.
A stress overload can produce a situation in which one reacts to any perceived threat with a set of behaviours classified as the ‘flight or fight response’. This means that a person will, depending on his/her individual characteristics and resources, either avoid the situation by fleeing the scene as quickly as possible, or in the case of a more assertive personality, actually be prepared to stand and fight, literally as well as figuratively.
When confronted with a perceived violation of his or her ‘road rights’, in stressed individuals this ‘fight’ response could easily activate and translate into aggression, abuse and violence, which is commonly known as ‘road rage’.
Fortunately, there is also a cognitive (thinking) component that underlies and influences our actions, a set of self-instructions called ‘schemas’. These are simple scripts for our responses which exist at a subliminal level of the mind and have been formed from our past experiences.
In the case of road rage, these scripts would most likely be along the lines of; ‘I cannot allow this’, or ‘I must confront this person’, or ‘I have to put a stop to this nonsense’. These imperatives, involving words like ‘cannot allow’, ‘must stop’ ‘ought to do’ or ‘have to’, can create major problems when it comes to behaviour, as they are shortcuts which often bypass the use of reason.
Keeping this research in mind, there are therefore two possible ways in which road rage could be prevented. First, a person’s general stress level can be reduced and managed with relaxation exercises, which will prevent the ‘flight or fight’ response from activating during an altercation. In this regard, research has shown that meditation is effective in reducing stress. Some meditation techniques can change one’s level of awareness and should be reserved for quiet periods at home. However, the particular meditation exercise which follows is so simple that it could be applied even when driving, to produce a more relaxed state of mind.
Begin to breathe in and out to a count of one to five. Clear your mind and focus on nothing else but the counting (either aloud or in your mind). Breathe in 1,2,3,4,5, hold your breath, 1,2,3,4, 5, breathe out 1,2,3,4,5, hold your breath 1,2,3,4,5, breathe in 1,2,3,4,5 and so on. Continue with this counting and breathing until your mind is quiet and you feel more relaxed. If you wish, you can increase the effectiveness of this breathing exercise by repeating suitable affirmations over and over while you drive. For example, ‘I am relaxed and at peace’.
The second method is to change the content of the underlying schemas or word-scripts which are sustaining the stress and feelings of aggression. This is not so easy, as they usually exist at an unconscious level and are quite resistant to change. However, once again, if we are successful in creating positive new scripts by continuously using affirmations, it will be possible to have more conscious control over our actions.
Examples of suitable affirmations would be:
‘I cannot be bothered by this incident’
‘I do not have to respond to this’
‘I am not prepared to fill my mind with these thoughts or emotions’
‘I simply do not wish to upset myself with this person’
‘I consciously release these negative thoughts’
Such affirmations would have to also be repeated continuously verbally or mentally until they become assimilated into our network of schemas. We will know that this has happened when, during a traffic altercation, these are the thoughts that come to mind.
By Jimmy Henderson BA Hons(phil), MA (Psychology), CHRP
In our modern and fast-paced world we are all experiencing heightened stress levels due to the pressures of having to juggle relationships, work and family matters, cope with financial and economic concerns, and in this country in particular, experiencing high levels of crime. Unfortunately, psychological research has shown that stress accumulates and can remain for long periods of time. Add to it the frustrations involved with peak-hour traffic and one can easily understand that many people are running close to empty when it comes to their coping resources.
A stress overload can produce a situation in which one reacts to any perceived threat with a set of behaviours classified as the ‘flight or fight response’. This means that a person will, depending on his/her individual characteristics and resources, either avoid the situation by fleeing the scene as quickly as possible, or in the case of a more assertive personality, actually be prepared to stand and fight, literally as well as figuratively.
When confronted with a perceived violation of his or her ‘road rights’, in stressed individuals this ‘fight’ response could easily activate and translate into aggression, abuse and violence, which is commonly known as ‘road rage’.
Fortunately, there is also a cognitive (thinking) component that underlies and influences our actions, a set of self-instructions called ‘schemas’. These are simple scripts for our responses which exist at a subliminal level of the mind and have been formed from our past experiences.
In the case of road rage, these scripts would most likely be along the lines of; ‘I cannot allow this’, or ‘I must confront this person’, or ‘I have to put a stop to this nonsense’. These imperatives, involving words like ‘cannot allow’, ‘must stop’ ‘ought to do’ or ‘have to’, can create major problems when it comes to behaviour, as they are shortcuts which often bypass the use of reason.
Keeping this research in mind, there are therefore two possible ways in which road rage could be prevented. First, a person’s general stress level can be reduced and managed with relaxation exercises, which will prevent the ‘flight or fight’ response from activating during an altercation. In this regard, research has shown that meditation is effective in reducing stress. Some meditation techniques can change one’s level of awareness and should be reserved for quiet periods at home. However, the particular meditation exercise which follows is so simple that it could be applied even when driving, to produce a more relaxed state of mind.
Begin to breathe in and out to a count of one to five. Clear your mind and focus on nothing else but the counting (either aloud or in your mind). Breathe in 1,2,3,4,5, hold your breath, 1,2,3,4, 5, breathe out 1,2,3,4,5, hold your breath 1,2,3,4,5, breathe in 1,2,3,4,5 and so on. Continue with this counting and breathing until your mind is quiet and you feel more relaxed. If you wish, you can increase the effectiveness of this breathing exercise by repeating suitable affirmations over and over while you drive. For example, ‘I am relaxed and at peace’.
The second method is to change the content of the underlying schemas or word-scripts which are sustaining the stress and feelings of aggression. This is not so easy, as they usually exist at an unconscious level and are quite resistant to change. However, once again, if we are successful in creating positive new scripts by continuously using affirmations, it will be possible to have more conscious control over our actions.
Examples of suitable affirmations would be:
‘I cannot be bothered by this incident’
‘I do not have to respond to this’
‘I am not prepared to fill my mind with these thoughts or emotions’
‘I simply do not wish to upset myself with this person’
‘I consciously release these negative thoughts’
Such affirmations would have to also be repeated continuously verbally or mentally until they become assimilated into our network of schemas. We will know that this has happened when, during a traffic altercation, these are the thoughts that come to mind.
Peer pressure
Peer pressure
By Jimmy Henderson (MA Psychology)
Peer pressure can be explained as your child doing something within a group which they would normally not do if he or she was alone. Peer pressure is especially prominent during the teenage years, when teens develop very powerful needs to form their own identity and to be respected and accepted, especially by peers.
These needs, coupled with a fear of social rejection, lend themselves to a teenager being very vulnerable to peer pressure. Sometimes gaining this acceptance means that they feel that have to be part of a social group, usually the ‘in-group’, in which they can find an identity and express their personalities. Unfortunately, these peer groups can sometimes engage in very strange and risky behaviours in which stronger personalities dominate and are very persuasive.
Factors influencing peer pressure.
A number of important factors can increase or moderate the effect of peer pressure. These include the personal characteristics of the teenager, his or her home situation, culture, as well as a series of social and environmental factors.
Personal characteristics such as the maturity, self-image and self esteem of the particular teenager play a great role in peer pressure.
Immaturity is often a characteristic of a child who has lived a sheltered or over-indulgent life and never really mastered the communication or life-skills required for independent thinking and for resisting peer pressure. Immaturity can also result from an unfavourable childhood and family circumstances which could include poverty, family violence, abuse or neglect and can result in teenager with a limited common sense, one who is prone to unthinking actions and a general lack of responsibility, which, coupled with peer pressure, can result in risk behaviour.
Other personal attributes such as obesity, IQ or academic performance can also affect a child’s or teenager’s self-image and self-esteem and make him or her more vulnerable to peer pressure. Self-image can simply be defined as that which teenagers see when they look in the mirror. In other words, that which they believe concerning their attractiveness to others, their capabilities, culture, moral or religious values and their family’s economic status and position in the community. This self-image is very vulnerable and he or she will go to great lengths (including conforming to peer pressure), merely to maintain a positive self-image to his or her social group.
Self-esteem is more concerned more with emotions, the way teenagers feel about themselves, and their sense of self-worth. A low self-esteem, arising from the unfavourable family and social conditions mentioned above, will also make them more vulnerable to peer pressure. In this regard, the role of the media and advertising in fuelling teenage insecurities also cannot be excluded. The feelings of self-worth of teenagers who do not meet the ideals of fashion and appearance portrayed in magazines and films and on television, can be negatively affected, rendering them vulnerable to peer pressure.
Finally, being under the influence of alcohol or drugs at social events such as parties and clubs will also lower teenage inhibitions and their resistance to peer pressure.
Building resilience to peer pressure
As stated, a favourable home environment can play an important role in empowering teenagers to resist peer pressure. These positive factors can include a good relationship with parents or caregivers and a parenting approach which encourages independent thinking, self-discipline and high moral and spiritual values. In other words, if properly guided and disciplined when young, teenagers can be more resilient to peer pressure.
A stable home situation, effective parenting skills and early guidance can also reduce the possibility of unsuitable friends that would exert peer pressure and lead the teen towards risk behavior. Risk behavior can be explained as those actions which could compromise the physical, emotional, social or psychological well-being of the teenager. In other words, actions that are ultimately self-destructive in nature. These behaviours include the abuse of alcohol, drugs, unsafe sexual practices and promiscuity, delinquency, juvenile violence and crime. Even smoking can be considered as dangerous to the health of young people and is therefore classified as risk behaviour.
Finally, a good plan to resist peer pressure should include encouraging the teenager to look in a mirror when feeling pressurized and to ask himself/herself if this is really what they wish to do.
Signs of distress
A warning sign of possible involvement in risk behaviour as the result of peer pressure would be sudden changes in mood and social behaviour. A teenager becoming more secretive and withdrawn suggests possible emotional or psychological distress. If the situation is serious and leading towards teenage depression, he or she will also become lethargic, less socially active and sleep more than usual. A loss of appetite or eating disorders may also be the result of social pressures.
Changes in thinking could also occur, such as a loss of concentration, focus and memory which would affect school performance. Teens in distress would be pre-occupied with negative thoughts and have inaccurate and distorted perceptions of themselves or their circumstances. In worst case scenarios, they could even talk about killing themselves. Parents or caregivers need to cultivate an awareness of the early warning signs of peer pressure, risk behavior and distress and be prepared to call in expert help if the situation is serious.
By Jimmy Henderson (MA Psychology)
Peer pressure can be explained as your child doing something within a group which they would normally not do if he or she was alone. Peer pressure is especially prominent during the teenage years, when teens develop very powerful needs to form their own identity and to be respected and accepted, especially by peers.
These needs, coupled with a fear of social rejection, lend themselves to a teenager being very vulnerable to peer pressure. Sometimes gaining this acceptance means that they feel that have to be part of a social group, usually the ‘in-group’, in which they can find an identity and express their personalities. Unfortunately, these peer groups can sometimes engage in very strange and risky behaviours in which stronger personalities dominate and are very persuasive.
Factors influencing peer pressure.
A number of important factors can increase or moderate the effect of peer pressure. These include the personal characteristics of the teenager, his or her home situation, culture, as well as a series of social and environmental factors.
Personal characteristics such as the maturity, self-image and self esteem of the particular teenager play a great role in peer pressure.
Immaturity is often a characteristic of a child who has lived a sheltered or over-indulgent life and never really mastered the communication or life-skills required for independent thinking and for resisting peer pressure. Immaturity can also result from an unfavourable childhood and family circumstances which could include poverty, family violence, abuse or neglect and can result in teenager with a limited common sense, one who is prone to unthinking actions and a general lack of responsibility, which, coupled with peer pressure, can result in risk behaviour.
Other personal attributes such as obesity, IQ or academic performance can also affect a child’s or teenager’s self-image and self-esteem and make him or her more vulnerable to peer pressure. Self-image can simply be defined as that which teenagers see when they look in the mirror. In other words, that which they believe concerning their attractiveness to others, their capabilities, culture, moral or religious values and their family’s economic status and position in the community. This self-image is very vulnerable and he or she will go to great lengths (including conforming to peer pressure), merely to maintain a positive self-image to his or her social group.
Self-esteem is more concerned more with emotions, the way teenagers feel about themselves, and their sense of self-worth. A low self-esteem, arising from the unfavourable family and social conditions mentioned above, will also make them more vulnerable to peer pressure. In this regard, the role of the media and advertising in fuelling teenage insecurities also cannot be excluded. The feelings of self-worth of teenagers who do not meet the ideals of fashion and appearance portrayed in magazines and films and on television, can be negatively affected, rendering them vulnerable to peer pressure.
Finally, being under the influence of alcohol or drugs at social events such as parties and clubs will also lower teenage inhibitions and their resistance to peer pressure.
Building resilience to peer pressure
As stated, a favourable home environment can play an important role in empowering teenagers to resist peer pressure. These positive factors can include a good relationship with parents or caregivers and a parenting approach which encourages independent thinking, self-discipline and high moral and spiritual values. In other words, if properly guided and disciplined when young, teenagers can be more resilient to peer pressure.
A stable home situation, effective parenting skills and early guidance can also reduce the possibility of unsuitable friends that would exert peer pressure and lead the teen towards risk behavior. Risk behavior can be explained as those actions which could compromise the physical, emotional, social or psychological well-being of the teenager. In other words, actions that are ultimately self-destructive in nature. These behaviours include the abuse of alcohol, drugs, unsafe sexual practices and promiscuity, delinquency, juvenile violence and crime. Even smoking can be considered as dangerous to the health of young people and is therefore classified as risk behaviour.
Finally, a good plan to resist peer pressure should include encouraging the teenager to look in a mirror when feeling pressurized and to ask himself/herself if this is really what they wish to do.
Signs of distress
A warning sign of possible involvement in risk behaviour as the result of peer pressure would be sudden changes in mood and social behaviour. A teenager becoming more secretive and withdrawn suggests possible emotional or psychological distress. If the situation is serious and leading towards teenage depression, he or she will also become lethargic, less socially active and sleep more than usual. A loss of appetite or eating disorders may also be the result of social pressures.
Changes in thinking could also occur, such as a loss of concentration, focus and memory which would affect school performance. Teens in distress would be pre-occupied with negative thoughts and have inaccurate and distorted perceptions of themselves or their circumstances. In worst case scenarios, they could even talk about killing themselves. Parents or caregivers need to cultivate an awareness of the early warning signs of peer pressure, risk behavior and distress and be prepared to call in expert help if the situation is serious.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
