Reading Body Language
The technique of understanding
non-verbal communication is based on research which reveals that the human body
will respond to areas of psychological and emotional pain and resistance with
involuntary movements or shifts. These movements can only be controlled to a
small extent and the resulting changes can be interpreted with a high level of
accuracy by someone who is trained in this field. This skill is extremely
important during the listening process, as it enables a counsellor to track and
respond immediately to the changes in the psychological or emotional state of
the client. It is also very useful when accepting the role of a listener in any
social situation, as it enables one to gauge
and understand the responses of any other person.
A high
degree of ‘awareness’ or self-awareness is required to really listen
attentively. In this regard, one should be fully aware and ‘present’ when
listening in order to note the nuances in what is being said as well any small
shifts taking place in voice, tone and body language. These movements of the body
will suggest corresponding changes to the emotional and psychological state of
the client as the meaning and implications of what is being discussed, is
processed.
The
second skill involved in non-verbal communication is learning the rules of body
language. In other words, being able to notice the changes taking place in the
position, orientation and tension of the client’s body. These shifts will be
quite visible to the trained observer using the correct method of observation, including
peripheral vision.
Peripheral
vision involves using the outer edge of the eyes to view the client. In other
words, not focussing on his or her face or any body part in particular, but
relaxing one’s eyes and allowing them to ‘wander’ with the idea of viewing his
or her body as a whole. This takes practice, and it will be found that this
will work best when one’s eyes are slightly out of focus with the head turned slightly
away. In any case, a counsellor should not be staring intently at any client, as
this could make him or her uncomfortable and lead to uncalled-for changes in body
language.
The
aim of reading body-language is to look for sudden shifts in the body-position,
body-orientation or bodily tension. If there are no other factors involved, this
will suggest a change in an emotional or psychological state.
General principles
There are a number of
general principles which must be considered when reading body
language:
·
Consider possible external factors causing the changes
Discomfort
and distractions due to the invasion of personal space, heat, cold, noise or
lack
of
privacy (interruptions) can also result in unexpected body movements. It is
therefore
Important
to exclude these other (external) factors before arriving at a conclusion as to
the
content of a non-verbal response or message.
·
View
all body movements holistically
There is no research evidence to suggest that any
isolated gesture such as
scratching the
head or pulling an ear has any specific
meaning. Non-verbal messages occur in body
language ‘clusters’. In other words, all areas of the body are involved
in sending a true
non-verbal
message and it is important to interpret any changes holistically. In other
words,
one
needs to search for a combination of bodily and facial reactions that match.
Only then
can a decision be made as to the likely
emotional or psychological state that is being
experienced by the client which is leading to
the change in body language.
·
Note
the context in which the change in body language is taking place
Finally,
the context of the social situation
must always be taken into consideration. In other
words, what caused the
sudden change? Exactly what experience or area of the client’s
life was under
discussion when the reaction took place, and what was actually said? A shift
in body
language can be initiated either by something the counsellor has done or said,
or as
a result of
a certain spontaneous thought, idea or emotion being experienced by the client.
The specifics of reading body language
Non-verbal communication can be seen in changes in the
posture or orientation of the body, bodily tension, facial expressions and
voice.
·
Changes
in body posture
This can be
explained as a change in the openness or closure of the body by the client
crossing/uncrossing
or folding/unfolding his or her arms or legs. In other words, an
imaginary
line down the front and centre of the body is either closed up or exposed in
response
to a change in emotional or psychological state. Closure of the body is usually
a
defensive
behaviour which suggests a threat or discomfort, such as would occur when the
conversation
opens up an emotionally vulnerable area of the client’s life. The subliminal
message in
this case would be something along the lines of ‘you have now said something
which
makes me feel vulnerable and emotionally threatened’ or ‘I have just thought of
something
which causes me pain’. A good counsellor or listener would detect this shift in
body posture and gently question the client
further around this issue.
As
previously stated, the closing-up of the body could also be due to an external
factor
such as
physical discomfort resulting from an uncomfortable chair or an air-conditioner
set
too cold,
and the surroundings would have to be checked to establish if this is not the
case.
On the other hand, opening up the
body by uncrossing the arms or legs suggests a more relaxed state of mind and trust
in the counsellor. The message in this case would be ‘I now trust you
sufficiently to expose my vulnerabilities (body) to you’. To an observant
counsellor this would be a cue that he or she is using the correct approach and
has been successful in gaining the confidence of the client.
·
Body orientation
This can be explained as the direction
in which the imaginary line along the front and centre of the client’s body is
pointing. Usually during a conversation or counselling session a client will face
the counsellor. However, any sudden change such as turning, leaning or pulling
away would be a defensive behaviour suggesting a threat, discomfort, distrust,
stubbornness or unwillingness. This movement can be subtle, such as a slight
shift which effectively brings a shoulder between client and counsellor (the
‘cold shoulder’). This is usually combined with a change in the position of the
arms or legs (body posture) and facial expression. As before, the aim would be
to search for that part of the conversation (the statement) which has resulted
in an unpleasant emotion or thought, leading to the subliminal non-verbal message.
In this case, a typical example of such an implied communication would be ‘you
have said something which upset me and I need to turn away to regain my
composure’.
Once again, one would have to
ensure that the change has not resulted from physical discomfort (such as an
uncomfortable chair), or other external factors as previously mentioned such as
heat, cold or interruptions. If there are no such factors, then the change in
body orientation has resulted from an internal state (thoughts or specific
emotions).
Other more subtle changes in
orientation, such as averting the eyes, also send a similar message.
As before, the opposite would be true
if the client was initially facing or leaning away at the beginning of the
counselling session (such as usually is the case with a severely traumatised
person), and after a while turns to face the counsellor. In this case the
subliminal message would be ‘I now trust you sufficiently to face you’, or ‘I
no longer feel threatened by you’, or ‘I welcome your presence’.
·
Body tension
Any
tenseness of the body suggests the presence of generalised anxiety or even specific
emotions such as fear,
anger or confusion. This tension will be revealed by shaking or
restlessness,
as the body is seeking an outlet for the excess energy. In the case of women,
the most
common response is shivering and wringing of the hands, and in men, shaking,
shuffling the
feet or clenching the fists. Short quick breaths and sweating also indicate a
high level of tension and anxiety,
as well as avoiding eye contact and rapid eye movement.
The context of what is being
discussed should suggest the reasons for the tension, for example, when the
client begins to explain what happened during a very stressful incident. In
this case, the change in body tension sends the subliminal message that ‘this
experience/incident I am sharing was extremely unpleasant’. The specific emotion
being experienced will be more easily identifiable by noting the voice and facial
expressions.
·
Facial expressions
Changes in the facial expression
suggest the arousal of specific emotions. These emotions can either be
experienced as pleasant, such as happiness and joy, or unpleasant, in the case
of fear or anger. Pleasant emotions will usually be accompanied by smiles,
raised eyebrows and dilated pupils, whereas an unpleasant emotion will be the
opposite, resulting in a drooping of the face, frowns or grimaces. There is a
unique combination of facial contractions associated with each different emotion
and with practice it is relatively easy to identify them.
·
Changes in the voice
Usually a quiver in the voice
indicates the presence of strong emotions. The tone of the voice is also
important. A change in the pitch of the voice suggests an emotional shift,
either to an anxiety-based emotion (higher pitch) or a depressive emotion (a lower
and flatter tone). A gasp or quick breath suggests that the client has
experienced a sudden and powerful emotion.
Finally, the counsellor always needs to consider
his or her own non-verbal communications. The rules of non-verbal
communication apply to everyone. In other words, even if it is at a subliminal level,
a client can also detect and respond to non‑verbal messages which the
counsellor is sending. When counselling or even just being engaged in
conversation, it is always important to be aware of one’s own non-verbal
messages as will be revealed in openness/closure, body orientation, bodily tension,
voice and facial expression.
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