Lotus FM Talk : Domestic violence
by Jimmy Henderson
Introduction
• Domestic violence is a serious crime against society and has an unacceptably high incidence in South Africa.
• The number of incidents of domestic violence in which especially women, children and the elderly are the victims, appear to be continually on the increase in South Africa
• Although accurate statistics on domestic violence are difficult to produce as the police list offences under the categories of assault, sexual assault, rape, murder etc.
(Use extract from the ministers speech)
Extracts from Address by Hon Deputy Speaker Nozizwe Madlala- Routledge (MP),
During 16 Days of Activism Against No Violence Against Women and Children
10 December 2008
• “Violence against women cannot be tolerated. In any form. In any context. In any circumstances’.
• “The statistics may be familiar to us, but they are still appalling”
“One in 6 South African woman experiences violence by her male partner at some point in her life.
Globally, women aged between 15 and 44 are more likely to be maimed or die as a result of male violence, than through cancer, malaria, road accidents or war combined.
An HSRC study showed that over half of adult women have been victims of violence or physical or sexual threats.
Behind these figures lie the tragic realities of beatings, rape, prostitution, threats, verbal abuse. Relationships destroyed. Families shattered. And lives broken.
Violence against women knows no geographical boundaries, no age limit, no class distinction, no race, no cultural differences.”
• “We know that in South Africa; over a quarter of all violent incidents reported involve a man hitting his wife or partner. Home, far from being a safe haven, is one of the most dangerous places of all. In South Africa, over half of women murdered are killed by their partners or husbands”.
• “Half of all divorces are filed on the grounds of violence against women. A fifth of all women have been subjected to physical violence by a partner or ex-partner.”
• “Violence at home, and in relationships may be one of the most prevalent forms of violence, but it is also the least visible and hardest to tackle.”
Definition
Any action or neglect on the part of family members which deprives another family member of basic rights or interferes with their safety, health or well-being. (Adapted from Unisa Tutorial)
• According to the Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998 the following conduct is seen as domestic violence or abuse against a spouse , partner or children:
Physical abuse (attacking, hitting, pushing, using weapons, physical neglect-not clothing or feeding children) )
Sexual abuse ( rape, sexual assault)
Emotional abuse (intimidation, emotional insults, humiliation, neglect /ignoring )
Verbal abuse ( shouting, swearing, threats to harm the other)
Psychological abuse (degrading, attacking their integrity and self-esteem, controlling behaviour)
Economic abuse (withholding money needed for living expenses from partner or children)
Domestic violence now also includes such actions as harassment, stalking, damage to property and even entering estranged family members property without consent.
• Note also that these persons do not have to be married in terms of the Act, merely be in a relationship (family member, boyfriend, partner), or have some past relationship (Ex-husband, ex-boyfriend, even a boarder in the same house)
• Even a ‘perceived’ relationship applies
• Note that these persons do not actually have to be living together and can be separated due to conflict
Causes Stress
• Research has shown that the main reason for domestic violence is stress in the family situation which causes the offender to take out his /her anger or frustration or aggression on others in the family
From my own practical counselling
• If the persons are living apart the situation may be more complicated, and include motives of revenge or wanting to control the other person or frustration (wanting access to kids) (anger–based)
• Once again , there is not only one cause and there are a number of personality, family, social, cultural and community factors involved which all contribute:
Personality factors involved in stress and coping
• Research has shown that certain inherited personality traits can predispose a person to domestic violence, such as:
A low frustration tolerance or low stress threshold
A depressed or anti-social personality or other disorders (anxiety)
A dominant, highly social or assertive personality
Also traits which make the person arrogant, hostile, impulsive and unfeeling
A lack of skills
• Other factors relating to an individuals development may also play a role
Their educational level
Having no problem solving or bad coping skills (immaturity)
Having a negative attitude to life
In the case of a man, his attitude towards women
A distorted view of the world
A low self-esteem or bad self image could also cause a spouse or partner to seek to dominate another
Family factors contributing to stress and conflict
A bad childhood in which he/she witnessed domestic violence, was abused or conditioned to accept domestic violence as normal
An Authoritarian belief system (I am the boss)
Type of family system (open/closed) (Is the family isolated or involved in community?)
Family values (spiritual or not)
Man with strong social support (family, friends and colleagues)– more prone to domestic violence
Dependent and vulnerable female partner (less family or social support-isolated) (Battered-spouse syndrome)
Bad communication in family
History of relationship problems in the marriage or relationship
Battle for power in the marriage or relationship (family conflict)
Demanding children (naughty, sick, learning problems etc)
Bad living conditions (over-crowding , large extended families etc)
Conflict with spouse/partners extended families
Some social and work factors underlying domestic violence
Drinking or drug use (alcoholism /substance abuse)
A history of frustration (unhappiness at work or in social life)
Retrenchment /unemployment /lack of money
Social isolation (isolated from community and not well–liked- no support)
Family trauma or humiliation - death of parent, victim of crime, loss of business
Divorce/separation - Custody battle/revenge
.
Cultural and community factors contributing to stress
High crime levels contribute to stress
Cultural beliefs- some cultures are male-dominated (power over spouse)
Level to which the society judges or accepts domestic violence (values)
Family involvement with community –could be isolated by family or community
Lack of availability of counseling or professional help services (rehab centres)
Unavailability or non-involvement of help-organizations, church , welfare or community support groups
High expectations and demands of the type of society or community
Feminist movements in the community (efforts of women to assert themselves)
Lax attitude of law enforcement and courts to domestic violence
The role of the media (aggressive movies, TV ) can encourage aggression
Solutions
There a number of interventions that a victim of domestic violence can consider depending on the severity of the domestic violence
• Phone a crisis centre and discuss the problem and look at possible solutions with the help of a counsellor
• Involving trusted family members in an attempt to improve the relationship
• Marital or couples counselling –this is an attempt to resolve the problem by means of a professional ( the ideal outcome here would be for couples to agree on appropriate behaviour)
• A trial separation –this gives both parties perspective on the situation
• Calling the Police in terms of the Domestic Violence Act 116 of 1998
The Act clearly sets out the duties of police officials at the scene of domestic violence
Police must immediately stop any ongoing violence and arrest the perpetrator on a related charge (eg assault)
If required , police must assist by helping the victim find a shelter and medical assistance
The police must also arrest the perpetrator if he/she has violated a protection order
Failure by the police to act constitutes misconduct in terms of the ACT and the official will face a disciplinary enquiry by the ICD and disciplinary steps by the
SAPS
• Going to the family court at the magistrates court and applying for a protection order
The protection order
• This is a written order (accompanied by a suspended warrant of arrest) issued by a magistrate in response to an application by a person involved in domestic violence who feels he/she requires protection in terms of the ACT.
• Any person who meets the relationship requirements can apply for this order, even a child. An SAPS member, counsellor, health services worker, social worker, teacher or any person helping the victim can also make an application of their behalf
• The order is issued usually at a family court (Magistrates court or High court) after the applicant makes a statement to the clerk of the court
• In emergencies this can even be arranged by the police after hours
• It will be delivered to the abuser by the sheriff and a small fee will have to be paid
(can be subsidized by the court)
• The alleged abuser also has a right to appeal against the order but if not successful, it stays in effect
• The order is very detailed and applies to any area in the country and remains valid until the applicant cancels it
The details on the order are very specific –For example , it can …..
Prohibit the alleged abuser from performing a specified act of domestic violence (eg assault, threats, destroying property )
Prohibit the alleged abuser from entering the house or any part of the house
Prohibit the alleged abuser taking the children
Regulate contact with the children
Prohibit the alleged abuser from contacting the victim in any way
(Including at his/her place of employment or even telephonically)
The order can also be used to force the alleged abuser to pay essential money for support (eg rent and food) until the matter is finalised
Procedure to charge person in terms of the order
• If the alleged abuser violates any section of the order, the applicant merely has to call the Police, present the order and the suspended warrant of arrest and give an affidavit as to how the alleged abuser violated the order.
• If there is any risk to the safety, health or well-being of the applicant, the police are obliged to arrest the alleged abuser
• The alleged abuser is charged with contravening the protection order and if convicted, he /she will be fined or imprisoned for up to 5 years. (As well as facing other possible charges eg assault)
References
Barlow, D.H.& Durand, V.M. (2002). Abnormal psychology: An integrated approach. (3rd ed.). Belmont : Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.
Tesser, A.(Ed) (1995).Advanced social psychology. Macgraw Hill, Inc.
SAPS Internet Journal www. saps.gov.za/docs/domestic.htm
http://www.saps.gov.za/statistics/reports/crimestats/2008/crime_stats.htm
http://www.parliament.gov.za/content/Address%20by%20Hon%20Deputy%20Speaker%20Nozizwe%20Madlala,%2010%20december2008.doc
Saturday, November 14, 2009
LOTUS FM : Exam stress and tips in preparing for the
examinations
by Jimmy Henderson
Exams and stress
• Exams can be a very stressful time, especially for matriculants who are coming to the end of their school careers and know that this examination is crucial for employment or entry into a university or college.
• Many learners lack confidence or feel that they may not be sufficiently prepared for the examination and this can result in exam stress
There are also a number of other factors that can worsen exam stress
• Personal factors : The students abilities and personality
His /her individual focus, effort and preparedness for the examination
(more prepared = less stress)
Intellectual or learning problems affecting his/her ability to learn
Low emotional (stress) tolerance levels can be inherited
Possible underlying disorders (ADHD)
Predispositions from family disorders ( anxiety, depression )
His/her sense of confidence (self-image and self-esteem)
• Parenting and family factors
An unstable home environment will contribute to learners exam stress- for example, abuse, shouting, fighting, domestic violence and marital conflict
Other family stress and conditions – death in family, single parent, poverty, unemployment, substance abuse (alcoholism)
Have the parents addressed the learner’s possible learning problems or need for extra tuition?
Does the learner have encouragement and emotional support from the family? (parent-learner relationship)
Do the parents provide only conditional acceptance. In other words, ‘I will only love you if you perform well’.
Do the parents have reasonable expectations with regard to academic achievement or performance? (Are they not already doing their best?)
Has the learner been properly assessed and prepared for a suitable career?
(One that suits his/her abilities and personality)
Sometimes parents impose family traditions relating to choice of career which may not be suitable or possible for the learner to achieve
In other words is he/she looking forward to next year with respect to his/her study direction or working life?) (Learners could be negative or unhappy about next year and this will contribute to their current exam stress)
• Social and cultural factors
The quality of community schooling-has the learner been well-prepared for the examination by the school?
Availability of extra tuition and study groups in the community
Environmental stressors can contribute to exam stress (high crime, gangsterism)
Cultural demands and expectations relating to achievement can place additional stress on learner
Expectations and demands of the type of society where high achievement is valued can also place undue pressure on the learner
• Exam stress may reveal itself in a number of ways:
Increased irritability
Sleeping problems
Headaches and other physical symptoms (weakness, upset stomach)
Negative feelings and thoughts
• In serious cases, exam stress or feelings of impending failure this could result in moods of depression and a professional may need to be consulted
• According to Prof Schlebusch from the University of KZ Natal, academic-related problems, such as poor school performance or academic failure is one of the main precipitators of suicide in children and adolescents
Tips in coping with exam stress:
Be mentally and physically well prepared
• Use effective study techniques
Plan your study programme at least 6 -7 weeks before the examination
Form study groups with other students in the same classes, if possible
Work systematically using your examination timetable and plan your studying based on the examination dates for each subject.
Allow at least a week for each subject
The last day or two before the examination for a particular subject should be reserved for last minute revision on that subject
• Reading though material is not sufficient.
Make summaries of the work for each subject using schematics in which you place the content into mind-maps or hierarchical block-diagram format, as images are more easily retained in your memory.
Also use different colours and underline or write key concepts using bold fonts.
Make a second summary of each subject in which you condense the work into only the main points
Make a final summary (Cram card) for your final day revision which contains only the main headings and key words for that particular subject.
Use this one page (or card) for your final cramming
• Diet
Get sufficient sleep and eat correctly
Junk food is not helpful during times of stress- eat plenty of vegetables and easily digestible food
Ask your chemist or health shop for a natural supplement to assist your studying.
I personally found Rhodiola Rosea, available at Health shops, to be every effective in reducing stress and increasing focus and brain functions
Do not over-medicate with tranquillizers or other medication. This will only reduce your ability to focus.
• Ways in which parents can assist:
Allow learners a degree of privacy in which to study
Encourage them to make use of the library, support groups and the internet
If there are very real problems with learning problems or school performance, they should be addressed early with the help of the relevant school and/or a professional.
Provide encouragement and extra tuition if necessary, not judgment.
Ensure that they do have a study programme in place and are keeping to it.
Use a reward system: In other words, if they have worked well for a few days they should be given time off for a movie or a few hours at the beach
Be patient with them as they may be more irritable than usual
Do not place unreasonable demands on your child
Provide them with unconditional love and support even if they are not top performers (as long as they are doing their best)
Read up on teenage anxiety and depression and know how to identify the symptoms and seek professional help if necessary.
examinations
by Jimmy Henderson
Exams and stress
• Exams can be a very stressful time, especially for matriculants who are coming to the end of their school careers and know that this examination is crucial for employment or entry into a university or college.
• Many learners lack confidence or feel that they may not be sufficiently prepared for the examination and this can result in exam stress
There are also a number of other factors that can worsen exam stress
• Personal factors : The students abilities and personality
His /her individual focus, effort and preparedness for the examination
(more prepared = less stress)
Intellectual or learning problems affecting his/her ability to learn
Low emotional (stress) tolerance levels can be inherited
Possible underlying disorders (ADHD)
Predispositions from family disorders ( anxiety, depression )
His/her sense of confidence (self-image and self-esteem)
• Parenting and family factors
An unstable home environment will contribute to learners exam stress- for example, abuse, shouting, fighting, domestic violence and marital conflict
Other family stress and conditions – death in family, single parent, poverty, unemployment, substance abuse (alcoholism)
Have the parents addressed the learner’s possible learning problems or need for extra tuition?
Does the learner have encouragement and emotional support from the family? (parent-learner relationship)
Do the parents provide only conditional acceptance. In other words, ‘I will only love you if you perform well’.
Do the parents have reasonable expectations with regard to academic achievement or performance? (Are they not already doing their best?)
Has the learner been properly assessed and prepared for a suitable career?
(One that suits his/her abilities and personality)
Sometimes parents impose family traditions relating to choice of career which may not be suitable or possible for the learner to achieve
In other words is he/she looking forward to next year with respect to his/her study direction or working life?) (Learners could be negative or unhappy about next year and this will contribute to their current exam stress)
• Social and cultural factors
The quality of community schooling-has the learner been well-prepared for the examination by the school?
Availability of extra tuition and study groups in the community
Environmental stressors can contribute to exam stress (high crime, gangsterism)
Cultural demands and expectations relating to achievement can place additional stress on learner
Expectations and demands of the type of society where high achievement is valued can also place undue pressure on the learner
• Exam stress may reveal itself in a number of ways:
Increased irritability
Sleeping problems
Headaches and other physical symptoms (weakness, upset stomach)
Negative feelings and thoughts
• In serious cases, exam stress or feelings of impending failure this could result in moods of depression and a professional may need to be consulted
• According to Prof Schlebusch from the University of KZ Natal, academic-related problems, such as poor school performance or academic failure is one of the main precipitators of suicide in children and adolescents
Tips in coping with exam stress:
Be mentally and physically well prepared
• Use effective study techniques
Plan your study programme at least 6 -7 weeks before the examination
Form study groups with other students in the same classes, if possible
Work systematically using your examination timetable and plan your studying based on the examination dates for each subject.
Allow at least a week for each subject
The last day or two before the examination for a particular subject should be reserved for last minute revision on that subject
• Reading though material is not sufficient.
Make summaries of the work for each subject using schematics in which you place the content into mind-maps or hierarchical block-diagram format, as images are more easily retained in your memory.
Also use different colours and underline or write key concepts using bold fonts.
Make a second summary of each subject in which you condense the work into only the main points
Make a final summary (Cram card) for your final day revision which contains only the main headings and key words for that particular subject.
Use this one page (or card) for your final cramming
• Diet
Get sufficient sleep and eat correctly
Junk food is not helpful during times of stress- eat plenty of vegetables and easily digestible food
Ask your chemist or health shop for a natural supplement to assist your studying.
I personally found Rhodiola Rosea, available at Health shops, to be every effective in reducing stress and increasing focus and brain functions
Do not over-medicate with tranquillizers or other medication. This will only reduce your ability to focus.
• Ways in which parents can assist:
Allow learners a degree of privacy in which to study
Encourage them to make use of the library, support groups and the internet
If there are very real problems with learning problems or school performance, they should be addressed early with the help of the relevant school and/or a professional.
Provide encouragement and extra tuition if necessary, not judgment.
Ensure that they do have a study programme in place and are keeping to it.
Use a reward system: In other words, if they have worked well for a few days they should be given time off for a movie or a few hours at the beach
Be patient with them as they may be more irritable than usual
Do not place unreasonable demands on your child
Provide them with unconditional love and support even if they are not top performers (as long as they are doing their best)
Read up on teenage anxiety and depression and know how to identify the symptoms and seek professional help if necessary.
LOTUS FM Radio talk
Violence in schools
by Jimmy Henderson
Source: Independent on Saturday 23 Aug
The case of Morne Harmse (Sword attack- Nic Diederichs Technical High school in Kugersdorp)
He wore mask similar to Metal Band slipknot frontman Cory Taylor and used a ninja sword to kill the other boy and wound the workers. It has been said that there is no link between the violence on TV and this incident.
Other reported facts
Indications are that he planned the attack and was pessimistic about the future
It was reported that he had relationship problems with parents who did not have much faith in him.
Parents reported
School and parents not aware of problems (so they say)
Parents and friends claim he was bullied
Other sources that he talked about doing violent things
After the killing
Do you want to see something cool? Smiled. I killed three didn’t I?’
Satanic stuff found in room
Psychological testing
Handwriting expert Yossi Vissoker checked his handwriting -called writer ‘troubled, dark imagination and seeking an outlet’ Full of turmoil, feelings of helplessness-possible past trauma (ready to snap)
My comment
• I did a lot of research into this matter and discovered that there are a lot of many older studies from the 1970’s and 1980’s which have shown a link between aggression and violence and the media (TV, movies, DVD etc)
• Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You magazine) says that emotionally immature persons are being exploited by the music industry and that they do imitate the behavior of bands.
• Experts agree that the strong words and message of hardcore music are not the cause, but must be taken into consideration. (3rd Degree ETV 26 August)
General conclusion: ‘Observation of violence is related to aggressive behavior’
(Tesser 1995)
• This research has been shown to be true both for laboratory and naturalistic studies.
• There are many others as well but I am only quoting the research most relevant to this case.
Eisengberg 1980 –Children who see violence on TV are more aggressive than others who do not
Wood et al 1991- Observation of media violence enhances aggression in similar settings
Lefkowitz et al 1977- Amount of televised violence watched by boys correlates highly with aggressiveness in same young men 10 years later.
Huesman and Eron 1986- Aggression has been shown to be related to the degree with which boys identified with aggressive characters on TV in 5 different countries. (***** very applicable to Morne Harmse who identified strongly with the members of the band)
• Increased aggression from TV and other media can happen in a number of ways :
Someone sees how a person commits violence and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (Perry & Perry 1976) (Huesman & Eron 1986)
They imitate or emulate violent behavior (Role models)
(Bandura et al 1973)
They are influenced by the words of the songs or statements. Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with destructive messages. It can replace his or her existing moral framework. Prof Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You magazine)
The violent images cause excitement and this arousal becomes anger directed at the people who are upsetting him. (Zillman 1988)
• Role of anger- Some research indicates that aggression is a normal reaction to anger and is directed at the person seen to be the cause (Zillman 1979)
Anger results in aggressiveness to stop the cause ( Felson 1984)
(Morne’s case –He may have acted to stop the bullying)
A person that has been insulted or humiliated may feel angry and try to hurt another in order to restore their self-esteem (Felson 1984)
(Morne’s case –He was insulted and humiliated by bullies)
.Children can also be quiet and reserved while boiling with resentment. (Psychologist Janine Beetge: You magazine)
• Frustration
Frustration may also lead to aggression (unable to find a suitable outlet or someone to talk to ) (Dollard et al 1938)
Violence and aggression occurs to relieve the frustration.
They can hide their frustration and one simple stimulus can unleash violence. (Psychologist Janine Beetge: You magazine)
Music can be a form of escapism or to release frustration )
( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Factors playing a role in aggression
DEF: Aggression =a response to specific conditions in the environment (stress)
(Tessar 1995)
• The South African situation ( RSG radio programme 22 August 2008)
Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB
National school violence study (Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention ) which showed the following:
Children as young as 9 & 10 are hurting their teachers.
Half of SA teachers do not feel safe.
• Department of Education
Security guards to be deployed at schools
Knife attacks on pupils by other pupils becoming commonplace
Factors
• The social systems shows that there are a number of factors which can influence aggressive behaviour,
• Most psychologists agree that aggression involves a predisposing state in the individual as well as an external stimulus (or trigger).
• Remember that these factors form a cycle and influence each other, but each of them plays an important part in a person’s actions and behaviour
Individual factors such as personality
The child or person’s home life
The culture and prevailing social conditions (society)
Personality
• Some old research talks of aggressive drives leading to a ‘death wish’ (Frued 1915). This self-destructive drive can be turned towards others.
• Although most psychologists now believe that aggression is more a response to specific conditions in the environment (stress and frustration) (Tessar 1995)
• Some research indicates that people can inherit a temperament which lends itself to aggression. (Dodge 1980)
Studies have shown that small children with aggression were still aggressive 10 -14 years (Olweus 1979)
IQ (inherited ) can also affect aggression as a low IQ can result in frustration from bad school results and also affect ones ability to understand the consequences of your actions.
Certain brain centres are involved in aggression (Moyer 1976) These are
activated by stress. High activity levels in these centres may be inherited
Aggression is partly due to hereditary factors. Some factors involved in aggression can be inherited. Temperaments, neural, endocrine and other biological systems. (Rushton et al 1986 /Buss and Plomis 1984)
Home life
One’s home life can also be a source of frustration and anger at home.
• Social learning.
Aggressive behaviour can be acquired at home through imitation and role models.
This can be maintained by reinforcement (How his previous aggressive behaviour
was dealt with by his parents (discipline or lack thereof) (Bandura et al 1973)
Children are not being taught social and conflict handling skills ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Children are not been taught or internalizing proper values. They then develop a disrespect for others ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG) (Bandura et al, 1973)
• Parents are struggling to cope with demands of modern life. They feel defeated and negative themselves. This influences their children. Parents need to be a positive influence and example. (Dr. Antony Constandius : ‘You’ magazine)
• Other Problems at home (causing stress and frustration)
Lack of proper communication
Bad relationships with parents
Abuse, neglect, deprived (poverty ) alcoholism, divorce,
Poverty - Humiliation and deprivation can lead to frustration and anger
(3rd degree 26Aug ETV : Morne’s area is a poor area)
Morne’s case
• There appears to be a long history of problems at home and that he felt socially isolated (Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG))
• Other reports indicate that he was lonely, introverted, isolated , had no friends and experienced feelings of hopelessness and rejection as a result of his problems at school. (‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008)
• The boy was obviously lonely, insecure and obsessed (by ninja culture) There is evidence that he was also bullied and excluded from his peer group (alienated). And that this resulted in an act of vengeance (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
• He was described as quiet, with a low self-esteem and self-worth. He felt he had to act to assert himself. In doing this he was seeking attention and acting out ‘the hero’ (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
The society we live in
• The trigger may just be in the social environment (Morne’s case)
• Situations that pose a threat to his welfare or sense of well-being (Zillman 1984)
• Peer pressure -Peer pressure can cause anti-social behaviour. Rejection can result in a strong need to punish others and show them how powerful your really are. (Joan van Niekerk –Childline in ‘You’ magazine)
• A culture of violence (Geen, 1990)
Symbols of violence in the mass media
Some cultural values could encourage aggression
For example, - You need to defend yourself with force
Violence is justified in some cases (war)
These enter into our beliefs systems and attitudes
• The current crime and violence in our country places stress on people (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
• Violent subcultures (Wolfgang & Ferrecuti 1967)
Gangs have rules which could include use of violence
Satanism ‘Satan made me do it’ (Morne) Can be linked to violent behavior (rituals) Chatsworth & Phoenix residents claim of satanistic acts by children. Many school expulsions due to Satanism. Desecration of gravestones, chanting etc, threats to residents. Also a link with drink and drugs. (Independent on Saturday)
• The media
Research has shown violence in the media to be a factor
Experts agree that children who are already emotionally unstable can be pushed to the edge by influences such as heavy metal, violent videogames and satanic clothing and symbols. (Joan van Niekerk-Childline in ‘You’ Magazine)
Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with destructive messages. It can replace his or her existing moral framework. Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (expert) (You magazine)
Someone sees how a person commits violence and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (Perry & Perry 1976)
Violent role models who get away with it (Bandura et al )
Words and images cause excitement and arousal (hyped up ) (Zillman 1988) interpreted as anger.
• Technology ( Prof.Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (expert) (You magazine)
Emotionally immature persons are being exploited by music industry.
They do imitate their behaviour.
Technology can allow teenagers to escape from reality (TV, internet, DVD’s )
The internet can create worlds of fantasy
• In Morne’s case- The music and mask can create a psychological separation or disconnection from reality (fantasy) (This was even admitted by the band members)
Solutions
• Department of Education (RSG radio programme 22 August 2008)
Security guards to be deployed at schools
• Other solutions (Tesser 1995)
Home
Research shows that prevention begins early, at home with young children
Need to improve socialization and child-rearing practices
• Community
We need preventative programs at government level and at schools
Training and education, discussions, debates, DVD’s
Need to improve community support structures (counselling)
We need to change the society
Reduce exposure to symbols and images of violence (Eron 1986)
Sources
Aggression in schools : RSG radio programme on 22 August
Independent on Saturday : 23 August 2008
Tessler, A.(Ed) (1995).Advanced social psychology. Macgraw Hill, Inc.
‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008
3rd Degree ETV TV Programme : 26 August
Violence in schools
by Jimmy Henderson
Source: Independent on Saturday 23 Aug
The case of Morne Harmse (Sword attack- Nic Diederichs Technical High school in Kugersdorp)
He wore mask similar to Metal Band slipknot frontman Cory Taylor and used a ninja sword to kill the other boy and wound the workers. It has been said that there is no link between the violence on TV and this incident.
Other reported facts
Indications are that he planned the attack and was pessimistic about the future
It was reported that he had relationship problems with parents who did not have much faith in him.
Parents reported
School and parents not aware of problems (so they say)
Parents and friends claim he was bullied
Other sources that he talked about doing violent things
After the killing
Do you want to see something cool? Smiled. I killed three didn’t I?’
Satanic stuff found in room
Psychological testing
Handwriting expert Yossi Vissoker checked his handwriting -called writer ‘troubled, dark imagination and seeking an outlet’ Full of turmoil, feelings of helplessness-possible past trauma (ready to snap)
My comment
• I did a lot of research into this matter and discovered that there are a lot of many older studies from the 1970’s and 1980’s which have shown a link between aggression and violence and the media (TV, movies, DVD etc)
• Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You magazine) says that emotionally immature persons are being exploited by the music industry and that they do imitate the behavior of bands.
• Experts agree that the strong words and message of hardcore music are not the cause, but must be taken into consideration. (3rd Degree ETV 26 August)
General conclusion: ‘Observation of violence is related to aggressive behavior’
(Tesser 1995)
• This research has been shown to be true both for laboratory and naturalistic studies.
• There are many others as well but I am only quoting the research most relevant to this case.
Eisengberg 1980 –Children who see violence on TV are more aggressive than others who do not
Wood et al 1991- Observation of media violence enhances aggression in similar settings
Lefkowitz et al 1977- Amount of televised violence watched by boys correlates highly with aggressiveness in same young men 10 years later.
Huesman and Eron 1986- Aggression has been shown to be related to the degree with which boys identified with aggressive characters on TV in 5 different countries. (***** very applicable to Morne Harmse who identified strongly with the members of the band)
• Increased aggression from TV and other media can happen in a number of ways :
Someone sees how a person commits violence and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (Perry & Perry 1976) (Huesman & Eron 1986)
They imitate or emulate violent behavior (Role models)
(Bandura et al 1973)
They are influenced by the words of the songs or statements. Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with destructive messages. It can replace his or her existing moral framework. Prof Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You magazine)
The violent images cause excitement and this arousal becomes anger directed at the people who are upsetting him. (Zillman 1988)
• Role of anger- Some research indicates that aggression is a normal reaction to anger and is directed at the person seen to be the cause (Zillman 1979)
Anger results in aggressiveness to stop the cause ( Felson 1984)
(Morne’s case –He may have acted to stop the bullying)
A person that has been insulted or humiliated may feel angry and try to hurt another in order to restore their self-esteem (Felson 1984)
(Morne’s case –He was insulted and humiliated by bullies)
.Children can also be quiet and reserved while boiling with resentment. (Psychologist Janine Beetge: You magazine)
• Frustration
Frustration may also lead to aggression (unable to find a suitable outlet or someone to talk to ) (Dollard et al 1938)
Violence and aggression occurs to relieve the frustration.
They can hide their frustration and one simple stimulus can unleash violence. (Psychologist Janine Beetge: You magazine)
Music can be a form of escapism or to release frustration )
( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Factors playing a role in aggression
DEF: Aggression =a response to specific conditions in the environment (stress)
(Tessar 1995)
• The South African situation ( RSG radio programme 22 August 2008)
Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB
National school violence study (Centre for Justice and Crime Prevention ) which showed the following:
Children as young as 9 & 10 are hurting their teachers.
Half of SA teachers do not feel safe.
• Department of Education
Security guards to be deployed at schools
Knife attacks on pupils by other pupils becoming commonplace
Factors
• The social systems shows that there are a number of factors which can influence aggressive behaviour,
• Most psychologists agree that aggression involves a predisposing state in the individual as well as an external stimulus (or trigger).
• Remember that these factors form a cycle and influence each other, but each of them plays an important part in a person’s actions and behaviour
Individual factors such as personality
The child or person’s home life
The culture and prevailing social conditions (society)
Personality
• Some old research talks of aggressive drives leading to a ‘death wish’ (Frued 1915). This self-destructive drive can be turned towards others.
• Although most psychologists now believe that aggression is more a response to specific conditions in the environment (stress and frustration) (Tessar 1995)
• Some research indicates that people can inherit a temperament which lends itself to aggression. (Dodge 1980)
Studies have shown that small children with aggression were still aggressive 10 -14 years (Olweus 1979)
IQ (inherited ) can also affect aggression as a low IQ can result in frustration from bad school results and also affect ones ability to understand the consequences of your actions.
Certain brain centres are involved in aggression (Moyer 1976) These are
activated by stress. High activity levels in these centres may be inherited
Aggression is partly due to hereditary factors. Some factors involved in aggression can be inherited. Temperaments, neural, endocrine and other biological systems. (Rushton et al 1986 /Buss and Plomis 1984)
Home life
One’s home life can also be a source of frustration and anger at home.
• Social learning.
Aggressive behaviour can be acquired at home through imitation and role models.
This can be maintained by reinforcement (How his previous aggressive behaviour
was dealt with by his parents (discipline or lack thereof) (Bandura et al 1973)
Children are not being taught social and conflict handling skills ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Children are not been taught or internalizing proper values. They then develop a disrespect for others ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG) (Bandura et al, 1973)
• Parents are struggling to cope with demands of modern life. They feel defeated and negative themselves. This influences their children. Parents need to be a positive influence and example. (Dr. Antony Constandius : ‘You’ magazine)
• Other Problems at home (causing stress and frustration)
Lack of proper communication
Bad relationships with parents
Abuse, neglect, deprived (poverty ) alcoholism, divorce,
Poverty - Humiliation and deprivation can lead to frustration and anger
(3rd degree 26Aug ETV : Morne’s area is a poor area)
Morne’s case
• There appears to be a long history of problems at home and that he felt socially isolated (Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG))
• Other reports indicate that he was lonely, introverted, isolated , had no friends and experienced feelings of hopelessness and rejection as a result of his problems at school. (‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008)
• The boy was obviously lonely, insecure and obsessed (by ninja culture) There is evidence that he was also bullied and excluded from his peer group (alienated). And that this resulted in an act of vengeance (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
• He was described as quiet, with a low self-esteem and self-worth. He felt he had to act to assert himself. In doing this he was seeking attention and acting out ‘the hero’ (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
The society we live in
• The trigger may just be in the social environment (Morne’s case)
• Situations that pose a threat to his welfare or sense of well-being (Zillman 1984)
• Peer pressure -Peer pressure can cause anti-social behaviour. Rejection can result in a strong need to punish others and show them how powerful your really are. (Joan van Niekerk –Childline in ‘You’ magazine)
• A culture of violence (Geen, 1990)
Symbols of violence in the mass media
Some cultural values could encourage aggression
For example, - You need to defend yourself with force
Violence is justified in some cases (war)
These enter into our beliefs systems and attitudes
• The current crime and violence in our country places stress on people (3rd degree 26Aug ETV)
• Violent subcultures (Wolfgang & Ferrecuti 1967)
Gangs have rules which could include use of violence
Satanism ‘Satan made me do it’ (Morne) Can be linked to violent behavior (rituals) Chatsworth & Phoenix residents claim of satanistic acts by children. Many school expulsions due to Satanism. Desecration of gravestones, chanting etc, threats to residents. Also a link with drink and drugs. (Independent on Saturday)
• The media
Research has shown violence in the media to be a factor
Experts agree that children who are already emotionally unstable can be pushed to the edge by influences such as heavy metal, violent videogames and satanic clothing and symbols. (Joan van Niekerk-Childline in ‘You’ Magazine)
Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with destructive messages. It can replace his or her existing moral framework. Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (expert) (You magazine)
Someone sees how a person commits violence and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (Perry & Perry 1976)
Violent role models who get away with it (Bandura et al )
Words and images cause excitement and arousal (hyped up ) (Zillman 1988) interpreted as anger.
• Technology ( Prof.Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (expert) (You magazine)
Emotionally immature persons are being exploited by music industry.
They do imitate their behaviour.
Technology can allow teenagers to escape from reality (TV, internet, DVD’s )
The internet can create worlds of fantasy
• In Morne’s case- The music and mask can create a psychological separation or disconnection from reality (fantasy) (This was even admitted by the band members)
Solutions
• Department of Education (RSG radio programme 22 August 2008)
Security guards to be deployed at schools
• Other solutions (Tesser 1995)
Home
Research shows that prevention begins early, at home with young children
Need to improve socialization and child-rearing practices
• Community
We need preventative programs at government level and at schools
Training and education, discussions, debates, DVD’s
Need to improve community support structures (counselling)
We need to change the society
Reduce exposure to symbols and images of violence (Eron 1986)
Sources
Aggression in schools : RSG radio programme on 22 August
Independent on Saturday : 23 August 2008
Tessler, A.(Ed) (1995).Advanced social psychology. Macgraw Hill, Inc.
‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008
3rd Degree ETV TV Programme : 26 August
Lotus FM talk
SUICIDE STATISTICS AND INFO
Article by Marlise Scheepers, Beeld 11/5/2006
Johannesburg - Friends and relatives arrived in a state of shock at the Emmerentia home to console the parents of a 15-year-old girl who hanged herself on Wednesday and filmed her suicide.
The girl used a dog leash to hang herself from a security gate on Wednesday afternoon while her mother was at home.
The police found a digital camera where she hanged herself and it is now in their possession. The family was too shocked and traumatised to speak about the suicide on Thursday. It is not clear how the camera was positioned to film the suicide.
Pretoria forensic criminologist Dr Pixie du Toit, who is doing research into teenage suicides, said it was the first time she'd experienced one where the youngster had filmed the deed.
''It's the first time I've heard of this. It might be associated with new technology - instead of a letter, using a camera to give a message.
''The incident is particularly unusual because filming the suicide has an element of violence which does not ordinarily occur among teenage girls who commit suicide.''
******************************************************************
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) said Suicide is the third biggest killer of youth and could cut short over 7 000 lives this year alone.
"Only car accidents and homicide kill more youth between the ages of 15 and 24,"
The fastest-growing age group for suicides was people under 35, particularly females, who are most likely to commit suicide between the ages of 15 and 19.
"Research indicates that, although more females attempt suicide, more males succeed."
A suicide analyst, Professor Schlebusch of the Nelson Mandela School of Medicine in Durban, estimated there were at least 20 suicides a day in South Africa. "Depression, especially major depression, is a very serious and life-threatening condition, which needs to be treated with great care," the professor said.
How to curb the increase in teen suicides
Suicide among children and adolescents in South Africa is on the increase and children as young as 10 years old have committed suicide.
This is according to statistics released by Prof Lourens Schlebusch of the Department of Behavioural Medicine at the Nelson R. Mandela School of Medicine, University of Natal.
Schlebusch conducted research on suicide over a period of 25 years. Until recently, reliable statistics have been unavailable. For the first time there is a more accurate picture of the prevalence of suicide in South Africa.
According to Schlebusch, approximately six to eight thousand people commit suicide in South Africa every year, making suicide the third greatest cause of unnatural death in the country after homicide and unintentional causes. On average 9% of deaths in young people, especially black youth, in South Africa are due to suicide. This is almost as high as adult suicide rates. Approximately one third of all patients admitted to hospital after attempted suicide, are children or teens.
The finding that younger and younger people are committing suicide raises concern. "Ten years ago, the elderly were most at risk of committing suicide. Nowadays, younger people are committing or attempting suicide," says Schlebusch.
Fatal suicides are only one part of the picture. For every one fatal suicide, there are 20 suicide attempts. The Durban Parasuicide Study conducted by Schlebusch and his team of researchers revealed that children and adolescents (aged 10 to 19 years) are the second most at-risk age group for non-fatal suicides after young adults.
Up to one third of all attempted suicides seen in hospitals involve children and adolescents.
According to two surveys as many as 4% (in 2001) to 24% (2003) of school children have suicidal ideation and up to 7.8% of these children have attempted suicide.
Why do children and adolescents commit suicide?
According to Schlebusch, the greatest precipitators in children and adolescents are:
• academic-related problems, such as poor school performance or academic failure
• incest
• stress
• psychological disorders, especially depression
• interpersonal problems
• family problems
Certain factors increase the risk that a child or adolescent would attempt or commit suicide. These include:
• previous suicide attempts
• substance abuse (especially alcohol abuse) and other psychological disorders
• exposure to family violence
• a family member's suicidal behaviour
• child abuse
• school-related problems
• access to firearms
Methods used in fatal suicide
According to Schlebusch, hanging is the most frequently used method (36.2%), followed by shooting (35%) and poisoning (9.8%) across all age groups.
Methods employed in non-fatal suicides among children and adolescents were mostly overdose of painkillers, benzodiazepines and antidepressants, or self-poisoning.
Unfortunately, many people continue to attempt suicide. They adopt more severe and lethal methods in subsequent attempt(s) until the attempt is successful or they have achieved the desired response from significant others on whom the suicidal behaviour is supposed to impact.
How to prevent teen suicides
Some suicides and suicide attempts can be prevented if family or friends recognise the early warning signs and seek professional help for the teen and if the underlying problems can be addressed.
Look out for the following signs of depression in teens:
• Sad, anxious or 'empty' mood
• Deteriorating school performance
• Loss of pleasure or interest in social and sports activities
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Changes in weight or appetite
Three steps parents can take if they suspect suicidal behaviour:
• Seek professional help (medical or mental health professional)
• Offer support (listen, avoid undue criticism, remain connected)
• Become informed (library, local support group, internet)
“By facing this problem full on, we, as a society, can help turn fear, ignorance, denial and myth into a healing process. Through understanding the pressures acting on our children and by helping them to deal with these serious issues, we can help turn their fear and despair and loneliness into courage, hope and power. We owe it to our children for without them there will not be a future to which to look forward," says Zane Wilson, founder of SADAG. - (Ilse Pauw, Health24)
SUICIDE STATISTICS AND INFO
Article by Marlise Scheepers, Beeld 11/5/2006
Johannesburg - Friends and relatives arrived in a state of shock at the Emmerentia home to console the parents of a 15-year-old girl who hanged herself on Wednesday and filmed her suicide.
The girl used a dog leash to hang herself from a security gate on Wednesday afternoon while her mother was at home.
The police found a digital camera where she hanged herself and it is now in their possession. The family was too shocked and traumatised to speak about the suicide on Thursday. It is not clear how the camera was positioned to film the suicide.
Pretoria forensic criminologist Dr Pixie du Toit, who is doing research into teenage suicides, said it was the first time she'd experienced one where the youngster had filmed the deed.
''It's the first time I've heard of this. It might be associated with new technology - instead of a letter, using a camera to give a message.
''The incident is particularly unusual because filming the suicide has an element of violence which does not ordinarily occur among teenage girls who commit suicide.''
******************************************************************
The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag) said Suicide is the third biggest killer of youth and could cut short over 7 000 lives this year alone.
"Only car accidents and homicide kill more youth between the ages of 15 and 24,"
The fastest-growing age group for suicides was people under 35, particularly females, who are most likely to commit suicide between the ages of 15 and 19.
"Research indicates that, although more females attempt suicide, more males succeed."
A suicide analyst, Professor Schlebusch of the Nelson Mandela School of Medicine in Durban, estimated there were at least 20 suicides a day in South Africa. "Depression, especially major depression, is a very serious and life-threatening condition, which needs to be treated with great care," the professor said.
How to curb the increase in teen suicides
Suicide among children and adolescents in South Africa is on the increase and children as young as 10 years old have committed suicide.
This is according to statistics released by Prof Lourens Schlebusch of the Department of Behavioural Medicine at the Nelson R. Mandela School of Medicine, University of Natal.
Schlebusch conducted research on suicide over a period of 25 years. Until recently, reliable statistics have been unavailable. For the first time there is a more accurate picture of the prevalence of suicide in South Africa.
According to Schlebusch, approximately six to eight thousand people commit suicide in South Africa every year, making suicide the third greatest cause of unnatural death in the country after homicide and unintentional causes. On average 9% of deaths in young people, especially black youth, in South Africa are due to suicide. This is almost as high as adult suicide rates. Approximately one third of all patients admitted to hospital after attempted suicide, are children or teens.
The finding that younger and younger people are committing suicide raises concern. "Ten years ago, the elderly were most at risk of committing suicide. Nowadays, younger people are committing or attempting suicide," says Schlebusch.
Fatal suicides are only one part of the picture. For every one fatal suicide, there are 20 suicide attempts. The Durban Parasuicide Study conducted by Schlebusch and his team of researchers revealed that children and adolescents (aged 10 to 19 years) are the second most at-risk age group for non-fatal suicides after young adults.
Up to one third of all attempted suicides seen in hospitals involve children and adolescents.
According to two surveys as many as 4% (in 2001) to 24% (2003) of school children have suicidal ideation and up to 7.8% of these children have attempted suicide.
Why do children and adolescents commit suicide?
According to Schlebusch, the greatest precipitators in children and adolescents are:
• academic-related problems, such as poor school performance or academic failure
• incest
• stress
• psychological disorders, especially depression
• interpersonal problems
• family problems
Certain factors increase the risk that a child or adolescent would attempt or commit suicide. These include:
• previous suicide attempts
• substance abuse (especially alcohol abuse) and other psychological disorders
• exposure to family violence
• a family member's suicidal behaviour
• child abuse
• school-related problems
• access to firearms
Methods used in fatal suicide
According to Schlebusch, hanging is the most frequently used method (36.2%), followed by shooting (35%) and poisoning (9.8%) across all age groups.
Methods employed in non-fatal suicides among children and adolescents were mostly overdose of painkillers, benzodiazepines and antidepressants, or self-poisoning.
Unfortunately, many people continue to attempt suicide. They adopt more severe and lethal methods in subsequent attempt(s) until the attempt is successful or they have achieved the desired response from significant others on whom the suicidal behaviour is supposed to impact.
How to prevent teen suicides
Some suicides and suicide attempts can be prevented if family or friends recognise the early warning signs and seek professional help for the teen and if the underlying problems can be addressed.
Look out for the following signs of depression in teens:
• Sad, anxious or 'empty' mood
• Deteriorating school performance
• Loss of pleasure or interest in social and sports activities
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Changes in weight or appetite
Three steps parents can take if they suspect suicidal behaviour:
• Seek professional help (medical or mental health professional)
• Offer support (listen, avoid undue criticism, remain connected)
• Become informed (library, local support group, internet)
“By facing this problem full on, we, as a society, can help turn fear, ignorance, denial and myth into a healing process. Through understanding the pressures acting on our children and by helping them to deal with these serious issues, we can help turn their fear and despair and loneliness into courage, hope and power. We owe it to our children for without them there will not be a future to which to look forward," says Zane Wilson, founder of SADAG. - (Ilse Pauw, Health24)
Lotus FM talk
Loss and grief
By Jimmy Henderson
Grieving
• Can be caused by death of partner or family member
• Also loss of something important (Impending death from Hiv/Aids, Cancer etc
• Loss of career, marriage, relationship-divorce.)
• Grief response
Grief response - various physical and psychological symptoms manifest &
persist (1-2 years)
• Grieving process
Has a clear and definite role in re-adjustment of individual.
Person releases pain over a period of time.
Body and mind trying to adjust to the loss
Normal process & nothing to be ashamed of.
Problems only if process is put off, avoided or person does not receive support.
• Stages
Different theories, summarised into 3 main stages.
• Stage 1 - Initial response stage
First reaction of severe stress - can last a few days.
• Psychological reactions
Shock, dazed disbelief, confusion, numbness/or intense emotions
(crying & sobbing).
• Physical reactions
Fear - tight chest, breathing problems, hollow or painful stomach,
raised heart-rate & high blood pressure.
Also sleeping problems sleeping, hypersensitivity and exhaustion.
Also illness- weakens one’s immune system
Initial stage passes in a few days - more serious symptoms could emerge.
• Support required.
Counselling or support from family & friends (talk it through)
Also assistance with day to day running of home
Visits & support from support groups or organizations = important
Person needs to feel supported and cared for.
• Stage two : Emotional and cognitive stage.
Can last for up to one year.
Coping mechanisms kick in.
(Protective, but can be severe & affect normal functioning).
Avoidance behaviour - not uncommon
(avoid contact with family and friends & want to be left alone)
• Psychological effects
Anxiety & tension -anger, irritability, unreasonableness, sadness.
Not uncommon -denial or regression into childhood response or displacing his/her anger onto family.
(Not personal - merely bad way of releasing anxiety & stress).
Relationships & other functions requiring concentration (work) will
usually suffer.
Preoccupied with negative thoughts -can become depression if not attended to.
• Physical problems
Illness (worsening of existing illnesses) stomach problems, sleeping
problems, bad dreams & headaches, loss of appetite, tiredness, apathy ( don’t’ care ).
• Support required.
Family and friends support required (visits and talking) .
Seek counselling (church, community (L/L) or professional )
Be encouraged to talk about the loss.
Person should try to keep more or less same work & social routine
(Sitting alone with negative thinking- not helpful)
• Pathological grieving
Grief can turn to disorder if not attended to, support put off or avoided.
Process designed to allow persons to work through issues & resolve them.
If process blocked or delayed -issues remain unaddressed = disorder.
Overactive defence mechanisms- (Excessive avoidance, repression or denial = also problems
Stress can emerge on a physical level as illnesses or substance abuse.
Major depression
Symptoms - severe withdrawal, chronic negativity & despair
loss of meaning (directionless), helplessness and thoughts of suicide.
• Process delayed/absent or incomplete
Grieving delayed or not yet fully expressed.
Reasons
Personality (must cope), genetic( shy) or learnt values(cowboys don’t cry)
Family situation- concern about kids, (‘Trying to be strong for their sakes’) Culture -may discourage excessive show of emotions.
Rushing through process of grieving -too painful (‘must get over it)
• Unresolved or Chronic grief
Normal reactions, but continues for more than one year.
Reasons :
Other existing problems- unresolved stress (financial, marriage, alcohol)
Not a coping person (personality)
Other pre-existing psychological disorders such as depression.)
Lack of social support - feels isolated & rejected
Inappropriate support (‘get over it’)
Bad advice
• Stage three. Closure or adaptation stage 1-2 years.
Should have episodes of relative normality after 1 year.
Developmental tasks
• What is needed for recovery
• Emotional recovery
Initial deadening of feelings (numbness) and sadness.
Try to recover feelings of joy & happiness in one’s life.
(Re-discover the things that make you happy)
Anger initially directed at others
(Redirect your anger into a fighting spirit and determination).
• Psychological recovery
Initial denial / avoidance of people & issues
(Come to new understanding & acceptance of situation)
• Behaviour recovery
Coping mechanism- Initially avoiding contact with people
(Replace with willingness to reinvest energy in life & important things -
family and friends).
Adjustment to the changed circumstances
(Willingness to make new positive decisions)
• Growth possible through grieving
New strengths and resilience.
New coping skills
Spiritual awakening
References.
Barlow, D.H.& Durand, V.M. (2002). Abnormal psychology: An integrated approach. (3rd ed.). Belmont : Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.
Corey, G.T. (2001). Theory and practice of counselling and psychotherapy (6th ed.) Belmont : Brookes /Cole.
Thompson, R.A. (1996). Counselling techniques. Improving Relationships with Others, Ourselves, Our families, and our Environment. Taylor and Francis: USA.
Loss and grief
By Jimmy Henderson
Grieving
• Can be caused by death of partner or family member
• Also loss of something important (Impending death from Hiv/Aids, Cancer etc
• Loss of career, marriage, relationship-divorce.)
• Grief response
Grief response - various physical and psychological symptoms manifest &
persist (1-2 years)
• Grieving process
Has a clear and definite role in re-adjustment of individual.
Person releases pain over a period of time.
Body and mind trying to adjust to the loss
Normal process & nothing to be ashamed of.
Problems only if process is put off, avoided or person does not receive support.
• Stages
Different theories, summarised into 3 main stages.
• Stage 1 - Initial response stage
First reaction of severe stress - can last a few days.
• Psychological reactions
Shock, dazed disbelief, confusion, numbness/or intense emotions
(crying & sobbing).
• Physical reactions
Fear - tight chest, breathing problems, hollow or painful stomach,
raised heart-rate & high blood pressure.
Also sleeping problems sleeping, hypersensitivity and exhaustion.
Also illness- weakens one’s immune system
Initial stage passes in a few days - more serious symptoms could emerge.
• Support required.
Counselling or support from family & friends (talk it through)
Also assistance with day to day running of home
Visits & support from support groups or organizations = important
Person needs to feel supported and cared for.
• Stage two : Emotional and cognitive stage.
Can last for up to one year.
Coping mechanisms kick in.
(Protective, but can be severe & affect normal functioning).
Avoidance behaviour - not uncommon
(avoid contact with family and friends & want to be left alone)
• Psychological effects
Anxiety & tension -anger, irritability, unreasonableness, sadness.
Not uncommon -denial or regression into childhood response or displacing his/her anger onto family.
(Not personal - merely bad way of releasing anxiety & stress).
Relationships & other functions requiring concentration (work) will
usually suffer.
Preoccupied with negative thoughts -can become depression if not attended to.
• Physical problems
Illness (worsening of existing illnesses) stomach problems, sleeping
problems, bad dreams & headaches, loss of appetite, tiredness, apathy ( don’t’ care ).
• Support required.
Family and friends support required (visits and talking) .
Seek counselling (church, community (L/L) or professional )
Be encouraged to talk about the loss.
Person should try to keep more or less same work & social routine
(Sitting alone with negative thinking- not helpful)
• Pathological grieving
Grief can turn to disorder if not attended to, support put off or avoided.
Process designed to allow persons to work through issues & resolve them.
If process blocked or delayed -issues remain unaddressed = disorder.
Overactive defence mechanisms- (Excessive avoidance, repression or denial = also problems
Stress can emerge on a physical level as illnesses or substance abuse.
Major depression
Symptoms - severe withdrawal, chronic negativity & despair
loss of meaning (directionless), helplessness and thoughts of suicide.
• Process delayed/absent or incomplete
Grieving delayed or not yet fully expressed.
Reasons
Personality (must cope), genetic( shy) or learnt values(cowboys don’t cry)
Family situation- concern about kids, (‘Trying to be strong for their sakes’) Culture -may discourage excessive show of emotions.
Rushing through process of grieving -too painful (‘must get over it)
• Unresolved or Chronic grief
Normal reactions, but continues for more than one year.
Reasons :
Other existing problems- unresolved stress (financial, marriage, alcohol)
Not a coping person (personality)
Other pre-existing psychological disorders such as depression.)
Lack of social support - feels isolated & rejected
Inappropriate support (‘get over it’)
Bad advice
• Stage three. Closure or adaptation stage 1-2 years.
Should have episodes of relative normality after 1 year.
Developmental tasks
• What is needed for recovery
• Emotional recovery
Initial deadening of feelings (numbness) and sadness.
Try to recover feelings of joy & happiness in one’s life.
(Re-discover the things that make you happy)
Anger initially directed at others
(Redirect your anger into a fighting spirit and determination).
• Psychological recovery
Initial denial / avoidance of people & issues
(Come to new understanding & acceptance of situation)
• Behaviour recovery
Coping mechanism- Initially avoiding contact with people
(Replace with willingness to reinvest energy in life & important things -
family and friends).
Adjustment to the changed circumstances
(Willingness to make new positive decisions)
• Growth possible through grieving
New strengths and resilience.
New coping skills
Spiritual awakening
References.
Barlow, D.H.& Durand, V.M. (2002). Abnormal psychology: An integrated approach. (3rd ed.). Belmont : Wadsworth/Thompson Learning.
Corey, G.T. (2001). Theory and practice of counselling and psychotherapy (6th ed.) Belmont : Brookes /Cole.
Thompson, R.A. (1996). Counselling techniques. Improving Relationships with Others, Ourselves, Our families, and our Environment. Taylor and Francis: USA.
Lotus FM talk
The influence of the electronic media on our youth
TV, DVD’s, Internet (social networks such as Facebook and MXIT ) and music.
Behaviour problems (‘Risk behaviour’)
• Not only aggression but other forms of risk behaviour in youth can be learnt from the electronic media.
• What is risk behavior?
Risk behaviour is defined as practices that compromise the quality of life and life expectancy of self or OTHERS in terms of physical, emotional, social and psychological wellness, in other words, actions which will have a negative effect on a person’s mental or physical health.
• This can include behaviour by teenagers which affects the entire household negatively.
Criminal activities (stealing) aggression and violence (bullying, fighting at school)
Anti-social behavior (disobedience, lack of discipline, lack of empathy)(cruelty to animals)
Alcohol and drug abuse (substance abuse)
Smoking
Unsafe sexual practices /promiscuity (Hiv and Aids).
Exposure to pornography
Dangerous relationships (older men) Facebook/MXIT
Dietary/Eating disorders
Lack of physical activity (obesity)
Suicide attempts
• Aggression –This was discussed during the last programme
•
Research suggests a link between aggression and violence and the media
(TV, movies, DVD etc) The case of Morne Harmse (Sword attack- Nic Diederichs Technical High school in Kugersdorp in August)
Eisengberg 1980 –Children who see violence on TV are more aggressive than others who do not
Wood et al 1991- Observation of media violence enhances aggression in similar settings
Lefkowitz et al 1977- Amount of televised violence watched by boys correlates highly with aggressiveness in same young men 10 years later.
Huesman and Eron 1986- Aggression has been shown to be related to the degree with which boys identified with aggressive characters on TV in 5 different countries.
• Music and aggressive or rebellious behaviour)
Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You
magazine) says that emotionally immature young people are being exploited by the music
industry and imitate the behavior of bands
Influence of the electronic media
• Experts agree that the electronic media is not the cause of teenage behaviour problems, but is a factor which must be taken into consideration.
• The social systems approach shows that there are a number of factors which can influence risk behaviour
• Most psychologists agree that an individual may be predisposed to risk behavior but is then influenced by outside factors.
• Remember that these factors also influence each other
• Predisposing factors
Inherited factors and personality
The child‘s home life
Social factors
The environment ( which includes the electronic media)
• Personality
Some children can inherit certain genetic characteristics from parents that may lead to problems with self-esteem later on. For example, low IQ, small size, fat -obesity, very emotions, high or low activity level (ADHD) and even their level of tolerance.
• Family factors
Sometimes the home is not a very supportive environment. (abuse, alcoholism, absent parents , lack of parenting skills)
Children are not being taught social skills or proper values ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Self-discipline and values in a child will help them resist bad influences
A family needs to teach good values and enforce discipline in children from an early age.
A child who is emotionally immature or has low self-esteem as a result of family factors will more open to influence.
Parents are struggling to cope with demands of modern life. They feel defeated and negative themselves. This influences their children. Parents need to be a positive influence and example. (Dr. Antony Constandius : ‘You’ magazine)
A lack of cohesion or communication in the family can cause the child to withdraw and seek entertainment from the available media.(divorce, separation)
A good relationship can help the parent and child to communicate well and resolve many of the problems relating to the influence of the electronic media.
A bad relationship could cause the child to draw away form the parents and be more dependent and influenced by the electronic media.
• Social factors.
Social isolation and low self-esteem as a result of shyness, poverty, distance from friends, being at boarding schools can cause a child to withdraw or become bored and be more open to outside influences.
A child having low self-esteem is more open to influence by the electronic media.
Social pressures can influence young people(Peer pressure) (all the other children are using MXIT)
• Environmental factors
• The current crime and violence in our country places stress on people (3rd degree 26Aug ETV) Can encourage people, including children, to seek escapism.
• The role of the media
Research has shown the media to be a factor (NOT a cause)
Experts agree that children who are already emotionally unstable can be pushed to the edge by influences such as heavy metal, violent videogames and satanic clothing and symbols. (Joan van Niekerk-Childline in ‘You’ Magazine)
Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with their messages.
Someone sees on TV or DVD a person who is cool and violent and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (hero worship)
Teenagers see role models on TV programmes and DVD’s who behave badly and get away with it (multiple affairs, easy sex, drinking and drugs etc) (Bandura et al 1973)
They imitate the behaviour of celebrities. (Bandura et al 1973)
• Powerful messages from advertising
Young people must be thin and beautiful otherwise they are not popular.
Drinking is cool, smoking is cool, junk food adverts etc
This influence can result in risk behaviour in children who are not able to resist it.
• Technology
Emotionally immature persons are more easily influenced by entertainment industry.
Technology can allow teenagers to escape from reality (TV, internet, DVD’s MXIT )
The internet can create worlds of fantasy and expose children to risk behaviour (MXIT)PORN
Some new technologies expose children to pornography and pedophiles (Internet, social networks, MXIT )
Solutions
Home
Research shows that prevention begins early, at home with young children
Need to improve socialization and child-rearing practices
Need to improve supervision from an early age
Children with problems at home or at school need proper counseling and support.
• Community
We need preventative programs at government level and at schools
Training and education, discussions, debates, DVD’s
Need to improve community support structures (counselling)
We need to change the society
Reduce exposure to bad influences
Summary :
I am not against the electronic media( I use it myself) However, parents must be aware of the dangers, inform their children and supervise their activities.
References
Tessler, A.(Ed) (1995).Advanced social psychology. Macgraw Hill, Inc.
‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008
3rd Degree ETV TV Programme : 26 August
Aggression in schools : RSG radio programme on 22 August
The influence of the electronic media on our youth
TV, DVD’s, Internet (social networks such as Facebook and MXIT ) and music.
Behaviour problems (‘Risk behaviour’)
• Not only aggression but other forms of risk behaviour in youth can be learnt from the electronic media.
• What is risk behavior?
Risk behaviour is defined as practices that compromise the quality of life and life expectancy of self or OTHERS in terms of physical, emotional, social and psychological wellness, in other words, actions which will have a negative effect on a person’s mental or physical health.
• This can include behaviour by teenagers which affects the entire household negatively.
Criminal activities (stealing) aggression and violence (bullying, fighting at school)
Anti-social behavior (disobedience, lack of discipline, lack of empathy)(cruelty to animals)
Alcohol and drug abuse (substance abuse)
Smoking
Unsafe sexual practices /promiscuity (Hiv and Aids).
Exposure to pornography
Dangerous relationships (older men) Facebook/MXIT
Dietary/Eating disorders
Lack of physical activity (obesity)
Suicide attempts
• Aggression –This was discussed during the last programme
•
Research suggests a link between aggression and violence and the media
(TV, movies, DVD etc) The case of Morne Harmse (Sword attack- Nic Diederichs Technical High school in Kugersdorp in August)
Eisengberg 1980 –Children who see violence on TV are more aggressive than others who do not
Wood et al 1991- Observation of media violence enhances aggression in similar settings
Lefkowitz et al 1977- Amount of televised violence watched by boys correlates highly with aggressiveness in same young men 10 years later.
Huesman and Eron 1986- Aggression has been shown to be related to the degree with which boys identified with aggressive characters on TV in 5 different countries.
• Music and aggressive or rebellious behaviour)
Prof (Laurens Shlebush (Univ KZ Natal) (SA expert on teenage suicide and depression) (You
magazine) says that emotionally immature young people are being exploited by the music
industry and imitate the behavior of bands
Influence of the electronic media
• Experts agree that the electronic media is not the cause of teenage behaviour problems, but is a factor which must be taken into consideration.
• The social systems approach shows that there are a number of factors which can influence risk behaviour
• Most psychologists agree that an individual may be predisposed to risk behavior but is then influenced by outside factors.
• Remember that these factors also influence each other
• Predisposing factors
Inherited factors and personality
The child‘s home life
Social factors
The environment ( which includes the electronic media)
• Personality
Some children can inherit certain genetic characteristics from parents that may lead to problems with self-esteem later on. For example, low IQ, small size, fat -obesity, very emotions, high or low activity level (ADHD) and even their level of tolerance.
• Family factors
Sometimes the home is not a very supportive environment. (abuse, alcoholism, absent parents , lack of parenting skills)
Children are not being taught social skills or proper values ( Prof Marie Poggenpoel and Chris Myburgh –Univ JHB (RSG)
Self-discipline and values in a child will help them resist bad influences
A family needs to teach good values and enforce discipline in children from an early age.
A child who is emotionally immature or has low self-esteem as a result of family factors will more open to influence.
Parents are struggling to cope with demands of modern life. They feel defeated and negative themselves. This influences their children. Parents need to be a positive influence and example. (Dr. Antony Constandius : ‘You’ magazine)
A lack of cohesion or communication in the family can cause the child to withdraw and seek entertainment from the available media.(divorce, separation)
A good relationship can help the parent and child to communicate well and resolve many of the problems relating to the influence of the electronic media.
A bad relationship could cause the child to draw away form the parents and be more dependent and influenced by the electronic media.
• Social factors.
Social isolation and low self-esteem as a result of shyness, poverty, distance from friends, being at boarding schools can cause a child to withdraw or become bored and be more open to outside influences.
A child having low self-esteem is more open to influence by the electronic media.
Social pressures can influence young people(Peer pressure) (all the other children are using MXIT)
• Environmental factors
• The current crime and violence in our country places stress on people (3rd degree 26Aug ETV) Can encourage people, including children, to seek escapism.
• The role of the media
Research has shown the media to be a factor (NOT a cause)
Experts agree that children who are already emotionally unstable can be pushed to the edge by influences such as heavy metal, violent videogames and satanic clothing and symbols. (Joan van Niekerk-Childline in ‘You’ Magazine)
Music groups can easily influence young people who lack direction with their messages.
Someone sees on TV or DVD a person who is cool and violent and gets away with it or becomes a hero. (hero worship)
Teenagers see role models on TV programmes and DVD’s who behave badly and get away with it (multiple affairs, easy sex, drinking and drugs etc) (Bandura et al 1973)
They imitate the behaviour of celebrities. (Bandura et al 1973)
• Powerful messages from advertising
Young people must be thin and beautiful otherwise they are not popular.
Drinking is cool, smoking is cool, junk food adverts etc
This influence can result in risk behaviour in children who are not able to resist it.
• Technology
Emotionally immature persons are more easily influenced by entertainment industry.
Technology can allow teenagers to escape from reality (TV, internet, DVD’s MXIT )
The internet can create worlds of fantasy and expose children to risk behaviour (MXIT)PORN
Some new technologies expose children to pornography and pedophiles (Internet, social networks, MXIT )
Solutions
Home
Research shows that prevention begins early, at home with young children
Need to improve socialization and child-rearing practices
Need to improve supervision from an early age
Children with problems at home or at school need proper counseling and support.
• Community
We need preventative programs at government level and at schools
Training and education, discussions, debates, DVD’s
Need to improve community support structures (counselling)
We need to change the society
Reduce exposure to bad influences
Summary :
I am not against the electronic media( I use it myself) However, parents must be aware of the dangers, inform their children and supervise their activities.
References
Tessler, A.(Ed) (1995).Advanced social psychology. Macgraw Hill, Inc.
‘You’ magazine, 28 August 2008
3rd Degree ETV TV Programme : 26 August
Aggression in schools : RSG radio programme on 22 August
LOTUS FM
Ways in which parents and caregivers can assist in preventing teenage suicide
• Recap of the ‘social systems’ view
Teenager’s problem not viewed in isolation.
Blame not attributed to individual alone.
Suicidal behaviour also related to deficiencies in family and social systems.
Lack of communication and bad relationships
Teenage depression Prof. Laurence Schebush)
Cycle of distress
• Teenage depression arises from a cycle of unbearable psychological distress or anguish in which existing problems are perceived as insurmountable and the teenager withdraws into a ‘dark place’ (feels isolated and alone) in which his/her thoughts become increasingly negative and he/she becomes emotionally deadened.
• Starts off as coping mechanisms (avoidance, withdrawal) and ends up as chronic disorder. The purpose of suicide is to stop this cycle of unbearable pain.
• Interaction between individual, family and social factors
What to do - ABC
• A - Awareness - Recognise warning signs early
Behaviours – Para–suicide attempts (not real attempt), loss of interest in all
activities, digestive disturbances, insomnia, loss of appetite and weight, no
energy, using alcohol or drugs, anxiety or irritability, moods and crying.
Emotions -Intense feelings of sadness, unworthiness, hopelessness, isolation,
loss of control, guilt ,anger, resentment, frustration.
Thinking – Talking about suicide all the time, loss of concentration, poor
memory, negative thinking, loss of creativity, distorted perceptions.
Attempt to identify underlying problems.
(may relate to family or social issues)
Eg Existing disorders (anxiety disorders or depression)
Personality problems - low self image/self-esteem
(Get professional help)
Specific problems that may be troubling the teenager
(eg learning problems)
Problems in family communication or relationships
Unfavourable family situation (fighting, abuse etc )
Problems with social relationships (unpopular, rejection, failure)
Attend to these problems as soon as possible.
• A - Action steps
Hospitalisation may be required in genuine suicide attempts (medication)
Removal of suicide opportunities (remove weapons, guns, pills etc)
(This will not solve the problem in long term).
A suicidal teenager will find another opportunity.
Long term involvement and therapy is required.
Implement plan of action as recommended by professional
Eg (behavioural therapy, ‘Suicide watch’ -24 hour supervision
• B - Be informed (library, local support group, internet)
Know what you are dealing with
Educate yourself further with regard to what to do to help.
• C – Changes that need to be made
Attitude change on part of parents.
Take the matter seriously
Accept responsibility
Apply unconditional love ( I love you no matter what)
Become less critical (more accepting)
Express empathy and compassion
Try to rebuild trust and respect
Need to re-open communication and improve relationships
Remain connected and involved (do not write him/her off).
Listen, avoid undue criticism,
Involve persons whom teenager trusts and respects (relatives).
Improved parenting /communication skills
Develop the necessary skills to deal with the situation.
Attend talks and workshops
Attend parent suicide support groups
Changes to the social environment
Encourage greater interaction with social environment
Encourage friendships and visits from friends
Encourage involvement with church or youth groups
Encourage teenager to attend workshops or courses to improve coping skills.
Use of community help services (rehab centres, support groups)
Use of Gov. Institutions- dept. of mental health (Prov. Hospitals, welfare, rehab centres).
Ways in which parents and caregivers can assist in preventing teenage suicide
• Recap of the ‘social systems’ view
Teenager’s problem not viewed in isolation.
Blame not attributed to individual alone.
Suicidal behaviour also related to deficiencies in family and social systems.
Lack of communication and bad relationships
Teenage depression Prof. Laurence Schebush)
Cycle of distress
• Teenage depression arises from a cycle of unbearable psychological distress or anguish in which existing problems are perceived as insurmountable and the teenager withdraws into a ‘dark place’ (feels isolated and alone) in which his/her thoughts become increasingly negative and he/she becomes emotionally deadened.
• Starts off as coping mechanisms (avoidance, withdrawal) and ends up as chronic disorder. The purpose of suicide is to stop this cycle of unbearable pain.
• Interaction between individual, family and social factors
What to do - ABC
• A - Awareness - Recognise warning signs early
Behaviours – Para–suicide attempts (not real attempt), loss of interest in all
activities, digestive disturbances, insomnia, loss of appetite and weight, no
energy, using alcohol or drugs, anxiety or irritability, moods and crying.
Emotions -Intense feelings of sadness, unworthiness, hopelessness, isolation,
loss of control, guilt ,anger, resentment, frustration.
Thinking – Talking about suicide all the time, loss of concentration, poor
memory, negative thinking, loss of creativity, distorted perceptions.
Attempt to identify underlying problems.
(may relate to family or social issues)
Eg Existing disorders (anxiety disorders or depression)
Personality problems - low self image/self-esteem
(Get professional help)
Specific problems that may be troubling the teenager
(eg learning problems)
Problems in family communication or relationships
Unfavourable family situation (fighting, abuse etc )
Problems with social relationships (unpopular, rejection, failure)
Attend to these problems as soon as possible.
• A - Action steps
Hospitalisation may be required in genuine suicide attempts (medication)
Removal of suicide opportunities (remove weapons, guns, pills etc)
(This will not solve the problem in long term).
A suicidal teenager will find another opportunity.
Long term involvement and therapy is required.
Implement plan of action as recommended by professional
Eg (behavioural therapy, ‘Suicide watch’ -24 hour supervision
• B - Be informed (library, local support group, internet)
Know what you are dealing with
Educate yourself further with regard to what to do to help.
• C – Changes that need to be made
Attitude change on part of parents.
Take the matter seriously
Accept responsibility
Apply unconditional love ( I love you no matter what)
Become less critical (more accepting)
Express empathy and compassion
Try to rebuild trust and respect
Need to re-open communication and improve relationships
Remain connected and involved (do not write him/her off).
Listen, avoid undue criticism,
Involve persons whom teenager trusts and respects (relatives).
Improved parenting /communication skills
Develop the necessary skills to deal with the situation.
Attend talks and workshops
Attend parent suicide support groups
Changes to the social environment
Encourage greater interaction with social environment
Encourage friendships and visits from friends
Encourage involvement with church or youth groups
Encourage teenager to attend workshops or courses to improve coping skills.
Use of community help services (rehab centres, support groups)
Use of Gov. Institutions- dept. of mental health (Prov. Hospitals, welfare, rehab centres).
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